Sketches New and Old by Mark Twain

from my work during five days and nights. I cannot speak the French

language, but I can translate very well, though not fast, I being self-

educated. I ask the reader to run his eye over the original English

version of the jumping Frog, and then read the French or my

retranslation, and kindly take notice how the Frenchman has riddled the

grammar. I think it is the worst I ever saw; and yet the French are

called a polished nation. If I had a boy that put sentences together as

they do, I would polish him to some purpose. Without further

introduction, the jumping Frog, as I originally wrote it, was as follows

[after it will be found the French version –(French version is deleted

from this edition)–, and after the latter my retranslation from the

French]

THE NOTORIOUS JUMPING FROG OF CALAVERAS COUNTY [Pronounced Cal-e-va-ras]

In compliance with the request of a friend of mine, who wrote me from the

East, I called on good-natured, garrulous old Simon Wheeler, and inquired

after my friend’s friend, Leonidas W. Smiley, as requested to do, and I

hereunto append the result. I have a lurking suspicion that Leonidas W.

Smiley is a myth that my friend never knew such a personage; and that he

on conjectured that if I asked old Wheeler about him, it would remind him

of his infamous Jim Smiley, and he would go to work and bore me to death

with some exasperating reminiscence him as long and as tedious as it

should be useless to me. If that was the design, it succeeded.

I found Simon Wheeler dozing comfortably by the bar-room stove of the

dilapidated tavern in the decayed mining camp Angel’s, and I noticed that

he was fat and bald-headed, and had an expression of winning gentleness

and simplicity upon his tranquil countenance. He roused up, and gave me

good day. I told him that a friend of mine had commissioned me to make

some inquiries about a cherished companion of his boyhood named Leonidas

W. Smiley–Rev. Leonidas W. Smiley, a young minister of the Gospel, who

he had heard was at one time resident of Angel’s Camp. I added that if

Mr. Wheeler could tell me anything about this Rev. Leonidas W. Smiley,

I would feel under many obligations to him.

Simon Wheeler backed me into a corner and blockaded me there with his

chair, and then sat down and reeled off the monotonous narrative which

follows this paragraph. He never smiled he never frowned, he never

changed his voice from the gentle flowing key to which he tuned his

initial sentence, he never betrayed the slightest suspicion of

enthusiasm; but all through the interminable narrative there ran a vein

of impressive earnestness and sincerity, which showed me plainly that,

so far from his imagining that there was anything ridiculous or funny

about his story, he regarded it as a really important matter, and admired

its two heroes as men of transcendent genius in ‘finesse.’ I let him go

on in his own way, and never interrupted him once.

“Rev. Leonidas W. H’m, Reverend Le–well, there was a feller here, once

by the name of Jim Smiley, in the winter of ’49 –or maybe it was the

spring of ’50–I don’t recollect exactly, somehow, though what makes me

think it was one or the other is because I remember the big flume warn’t

finished when he first come to the camp; but anyway, he was the

curiousest man about always betting on anything that turned up you ever

see, if he could get anybody to bet on the other side; and if he couldn’t

he’d change sides. Any way that suited the other man would suit him any

way just so’s he got a bet, he was satisfied. But still he was lucky,

uncommon lucky; he most always come out winner. He was always ready and

laying for a chance; there couldn’t be no solit’ry thing mentioned but

that feller’d offer to bet on it, and take any side you please, as I was

just telling you. If there was a horse-race, you’d find him flush or

you’d find him busted at the end of it; if there was a dog-fight, he’d

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