The Gilded Age by Mark Twain and Charles Dudley Warner

“Did you feel scared, Uncle Dan’l?”

“No sah! When a man is ‘gaged in prah, he ain’t fraid o’ nuffin–dey

can’t nuffin tetch him.”

“Well what did you run for?”

“Well, I–I–mars Clay, when a man is under de influence ob de sperit,

he do-no, what he’s ’bout–no sah; dat man do-no what he’s ’bout. You

mout take an’ tah de head off’n dat man an’ he wouldn’t scasely fine it

out. Date’s de Hebrew chil’en dat went frough de fiah; dey was burnt

considable–ob coase dey was; but dey didn’t know nuffin ’bout it–heal

right up agin; if dey’d ben gals dey’d missed dey long haah, (hair,)

maybe, but dey wouldn’t felt de burn.”

“I don’t know but what they were girls. I think they were.”

“Now mars Clay, you knows bettern dat. Sometimes a body can’t tell

whedder you’s a sayin’ what you means or whedder you’s a sayin’ what you

don’t mean, ‘case you says ’em bofe de same way.”

“But how should I know whether they were boys or girls?”

“Goodness sakes, mars Clay, don’t de Good Book say? ‘Sides, don’t it

call ’em de HE-brew chil’en? If dey was gals wouldn’t dey be de SHE-brew

chil’en? Some people dat kin read don’t ‘pear to take no notice when dey

do read.”

“Well, Uncle Dan’l, I think that—– My! here comes another one up the

river! There can’t be two!”

“We gone dis time–we done gone dis time, sho’! Dey ain’t two, mars

Clay–days de same one. De Lord kin ‘pear eberywhah in a second.

Goodness, how do fiah and de smoke do belch up! Dat mean business,

honey. He comin’ now like he fo’got sumfin. Come ‘long, chil’en, time

you’s gwyne to roos’. Go ‘long wid you–ole Uncle Daniel gwyne out in de

woods to rastle in prah–de ole nigger gwyne to do what he kin to sabe

you agin”

He did go to the woods and pray; but he went so far that he doubted,

himself, if the Lord heard him when He went by.

CHAPTER IV.

–Seventhly, Before his Voyage, He should make his peace with God,

satisfie his Creditors if he be in debt; Pray earnestly to God to prosper

him in his Voyage, and to keep him from danger, and, if he be ‘sui juris’

he should make his last will, and wisely order all his affairs, since

many that go far abroad, return not home. (This good and Christian

Counsel is given by Martinus Zeilerus in his Apodemical Canons before his

Itinerary of Spain and Portugal.)

Early in the morning Squire Hawkins took passage in a small steamboat,

with his family and his two slaves, and presently the bell rang, the

stage-plank; was hauled in, and the vessel proceeded up the river.

The children and the slaves were not much more at ease after finding out

that this monster was a creature of human contrivance than they were the

night before when they thought it the Lord of heaven and earth. They

started, in fright, every time the gauge-cocks sent out an angry hiss,

and they quaked from head to foot when the mud-valves thundered. The

shivering of the boat under the beating of the wheels was sheer misery to

them.

But of course familiarity with these things soon took away their terrors,

and then the voyage at once became a glorious adventure, a royal progress

through the very heart and home of romance, a realization of their

rosiest wonder-dreams. They sat by the hour in the shade of the pilot

house on the hurricane deck and looked out over the curving expanses of

the river sparkling in the sunlight. Sometimes the boat fought the mid-

stream current, with a verdant world on either hand, and remote from

both; sometimes she closed in under a point, where the dead water and the

helping eddies were, and shaved the bank so closely that the decks were

swept by the jungle of over-hanging willows and littered with a spoil of

leaves; departing from these “points” she regularly crossed the river

every five miles, avoiding the “bight” of the great binds and thus

escaping the strong current; sometimes she went out and skirted a high

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