The Gilded Age by Mark Twain and Charles Dudley Warner

morality required an example, for the warning of future Nobles, he would

beg that in Christian charity this poor misguided creature might be

forgiven and set free. He said that it was but too evident that this

person had approached him in the hope of obtaining a bribe; he had

intruded himself time and again, and always with moving stories of his

poverty. Mr. Dilworthy said that his heart had bled for him–insomuch

that he had several times been on the point of trying to get some one to

do something for him. Some instinct had told him from the beginning that

this was a bad man, an evil-minded man, but his inexperience of such had

blinded him to his real motives, and hence he had never dreamed that his

object was to undermine the purity of a United States Senator.

He regretted that it was plain, now, that such was the man’s object and

that punishment could not with safety to the Senate’s honor be withheld.

He grieved to say that one of those mysterious dispensations of an

inscrutable Providence which are decreed from time to time by His wisdom

and for His righteous, purposes, had given this conspirator’s tale a

color of plausibility,–but this would soon disappear under the clear

light of truth which would now be thrown upon the case.

It so happened, (said the Senator,) that about the time in question, a

poor young friend of mine, living in a distant town of my State, wished

to establish a bank; he asked me to lend him the necessary money; I said

I had no, money just then, but world try to borrow it. The day before

the election a friend said to me that my election expenses must be very

large specially my hotel bills, and offered to lend me some money.

Remembering my young, friend, I said I would like a few thousands now,

and a few more by and by; whereupon he gave me two packages of bills said

to contain $2,000 and $5,000 respectively; I did not open the packages or

count the money; I did not give any note or receipt for the same; I made

no memorandum of the transaction, and neither did my friend. That night

this evil man Noble came troubling me again: I could not rid myself of

him, though my time was very precious. He mentioned my young friend and

said he was very anxious to have the $7000 now to begin his banking

operations with, and could wait a while for the rest. Noble wished to

get the money and take it to him. I finally gave him the two packages of

bills; I took no note or receipt from him, and made no memorandum of the

matter. I no more look for duplicity and deception in another man than I

would look for it in myself. I never thought of this man again until I

was overwhelmed the next day by learning what a shameful use he had made

of the confidence I had reposed in him and the money I had entrusted to

his care. This is all, gentlemen. To the absolute truth of every detail

of my statement I solemnly swear, and I call Him to witness who is the

Truth and the loving Father of all whose lips abhor false speaking; I

pledge my honor as a Senator, that I have spoken but the truth. May God

forgive this wicked man as I do.

Mr. Noble–“Senator Dilworthy, your bank account shows that up to that

day, and even on that very day, you conducted all your financial business

through the medium of checks instead of bills, and so kept careful record

of every moneyed transaction. Why did you deal in bank bills on this

particular occasion?”

The Chairman–“The gentleman will please to remember that the Committee

is conducting this investigation.”

Mr. Noble–“Then will the Committee ask the question?”

The Chairman–“The Committee will–when it desires to know.”

Mr. Noble–“Which will not be daring this century perhaps.”

The Chairman–“Another remark like that, sir, will procure you the

attentions of the Sergeant-at-arms.”

Mr. Noble–“D–n the Sergeant-at-arms, and the Committee too!”

Several Committeemen–“Mr. Chairman, this is Contempt!”

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