The Gilded Age by Mark Twain and Charles Dudley Warner

We must have more of that sort. But it will come–no fear of that;

they’re not warmed up, yet. A week from now you’ll see.”

“Uncle, you and Brother Balaam are bosom friends–why don’t you get his

paper to persecute us, too?”

“It isn’t worth while, my, daughter. His support doesn’t hurt a bill.

Nobody reads his editorials but himself. But I wish the New York papers

would talk a little plainer. It is annoying to have to wait a week for

them to warm up. I expected better things at their hands–and time is

precious, now.”

At the proper hour, according to his previous notice, Mr. Buckstone duly

introduced his bill entitled “An Act to Found and Incorporate the Knobs

Industrial University,” moved its proper reference, and sat down.

The Speaker of the House rattled off this observation:

“‘Fnobjectionbilltakuzhlcoixrssoreferred!'”

Habitues of the House comprehended that this long, lightning-heeled word

signified that if there was no objection, the bill would take the

customary course of a measure of its nature, and be referred to the

Committee on Benevolent Appropriations, and that it was accordingly so

referred. Strangers merely supposed that the Speaker was taking a gargle

for some affection of the throat.

The reporters immediately telegraphed the introduction of the bill.–And

they added:

“The assertion that the bill will pass was premature. It is said

that many favorers of it will desert when the storm breaks upon them

from the public press.”

The storm came, and during ten days it waxed more and more violent day by

day. The great “Negro University Swindle” became the one absorbing topic

of conversation throughout the Union. Individuals denounced it, journals

denounced it, public meetings denounced it, the pictorial papers

caricatured its friends, the whole nation seemed to be growing frantic

over it. Meantime the Washington correspondents were sending such

telegrams as these abroad in the land; Under date of–

SATURDAY. “Congressmen Jex and Fluke are wavering; it is believed they

will desert the execrable bill.”

MONDAY. “Jex and Fluke have deserted!”

THURSDAY. “Tubbs and Huffy left the sinking ship last night”

Later on:

“Three desertions. The University thieves are getting scared, though

they will not own it.”

Later:

“The leaders are growing stubborn–they swear they can carry it, but it

is now almost certain that they no longer have a majority!”

After a day or two of reluctant and ambiguous telegrams:

“Public sentiment seems changing, a trifle in favor of the bill–

but only a trifle.”

And still later:

“It is whispered that the Hon. Mr. Trollop has gone over to the pirates.

It is probably a canard. Mr. Trollop has all along been the bravest and

most efficient champion of virtue and the people against the bill, and

the report is without doubt a shameless invention.”

Next day:

“With characteristic treachery, the truckling and pusillanimous reptile,

Crippled-Speech Trollop, has gone over to the enemy. It is contended,

now, that he has been a friend to the bill, in secret, since the day it

was introduced, and has had bankable reasons for being so; but he himself

declares that he has gone over because the malignant persecution of the

bill by the newspapers caused him to study its provisions with more care

than he had previously done, and this close examination revealed the fact

that the measure is one in every way worthy of support. (Pretty thin!)

It cannot be denied that this desertion has had a damaging effect. Jex

and Fluke have returned to their iniquitous allegiance, with six or eight

others of lesser calibre, and it is reported and believed that Tubbs and

Huffy are ready to go back. It is feared that the University swindle is

stronger to-day than it has ever been before.”

Later-midnight:

“It is said that the committee will report the bill back to-morrow. Both

sides are marshaling their forces, and the fight on this bill is

evidently going to be the hottest of the session.–All Washington is

boiling.”

CHAPTER XLIV.

“It’s easy enough for another fellow to talk,” said Harry, despondingly,

after he had put Philip in possession of his view of the case. “It’s

easy enough to say ‘give her up,’ if you don’t care for her. What am I

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