The Gilded Age by Mark Twain and Charles Dudley Warner

people. He appeared in church; he took a leading part in prayer

meetings; he met and encouraged the temperance societies; he graced the

sewing circles of the ladies with his presence, and even took a needle

now and then and made a stitch or two upon a calico shirt for some poor

Bibleless pagan of the South Seas, and this act enchanted the ladies,

who regarded the garments thus honored as in a manner sanctified.

The Senator wrought in Bible classes, and nothing could keep him away

from the Sunday Schools–neither sickness nor storms nor weariness.

He even traveled a tedious thirty miles in a poor little rickety

stagecoach to comply with the desire of the miserable hamlet of

Cattleville that he would let its Sunday School look upon him.

All the town was assembled at the stage office when he arrived,

two bonfires were burning, and a battery of anvils was popping exultant

broadsides; for a United States Senator was a sort of god in the

understanding of these people who never had seen any creature mightier

than a county judge. To them a United States Senator was a vast, vague

colossus, an awe inspiring unreality.

Next day everybody was at the village church a full half hour before time

for Sunday School to open; ranchmen and farmers had come with their

families from five miles around, all eager to get a glimpse of the great

man–the man who had been to Washington; the man who had seen the

President of the United States, and had even talked with him; the man who

had seen the actual Washington Monument–perhaps touched it with his

hands.

When the Senator arrived the Church was crowded, the windows were full,

the aisles were packed, so was the vestibule, and so indeed was the yard

in front of the building. As he worked his way through to the pulpit on

the arm of the minister and followed by the envied officials of the

village, every neck was stretched and, every eye twisted around

intervening obstructions to get a glimpse. Elderly people directed each

other’s attention and, said, “There! that’s him, with the grand, noble

forehead!” Boys nudged each other and said, “Hi, Johnny, here he is,

there, that’s him, with the peeled head!”

The Senator took his seat in the pulpit, with the minister’ on one side

of him and the Superintendent of the Sunday School on the other.

The town dignitaries sat in an impressive row within the altar railings

below. The Sunday School children occupied ten of the front benches.

dressed in their best and most uncomfortable clothes, and with hair

combed and faces too clean to feel natural. So awed were they by the

presence of a living United States Senator, that during three minutes not

a “spit ball” was thrown. After that they began to come to themselves by

degrees, and presently the spell was wholly gone and they were reciting

verses and pulling hair.

The usual Sunday School exercises were hurried through, and then the

minister, got up and bored the house with a speech built on the customary

Sunday School plan; then the Superintendent put in his oar; then the town

dignitaries had their say. They all made complimentary reference to

“their friend the, Senator,” and told what a great and illustrious man he

was and what he had done for his country and for religion and temperance,

and exhorted the little boys to be good and diligent and try to become

like him some day. The speakers won the deathless hatred of the house by

these delays, but at last there was an end and hope revived; inspiration

was about to find utterance.

Senator Dilworthy rose and beamed upon the assemblage for a full minute

in silence. Then he smiled with an access of sweetness upon the children

and began:

“My little friends–for I hope that all these bright-faced little people

are my friends and will let me be their friend–my little friends, I have

traveled much, I have been in many cities and many States, everywhere in

our great and noble country, and by the blessing of Providence I have

been permitted to see many gatherings like this–but I am proud, I am

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