The Gilded Age by Mark Twain and Charles Dudley Warner

“Well, I–it don’t seem quite enough. That–that is a very valuable

property–very valuable. It’s brim full of iron-ore, sir–brim full of

it! And copper, coal,–everything–everything you can think of! Now,

I’ll tell you what I’ll, do. I’ll reserve everything except the iron,

and I’ll sell them the iron property for $15,000 cash, I to go in with

them and own an undivided interest of one-half the concern–or the stock,

as you may say. I’m out of business, and I’d just as soon help run the

thing as not. Now how does that strike you?”

“Well, I am only an agent of these people, who are friends of mine, and

I am not even paid for my services. To tell you the truth, I have tried

to persuade them not to go into the thing; and I have come square out

with their offer, without throwing out any feelers–and I did it in the

hope that you would refuse. A man pretty much always refuses another

man’s first offer, no matter what it is. But I have performed my duty,

and will take pleasure in telling them what you say.”

He was about to rise. Hawkins said,

“Wait a bit.”

Hawkins thought again. And the substance of his thought was: “This is a

deep man; this is a very deep man; I don’t like his candor; your

ostentatiously candid business man’s a deep fox–always a deep fox;

this man’s that iron company himself–that’s what he is; he wants that

property, too; I am not so blind but I can see that; he don’t want the

company to go into this thing– O, that’s very good; yes, that’s very

good indeed–stuff! he’ll be back here tomorrow, sure, and take my offer;

take it? I’ll risk anything he is suffering to take it now; here–I must

mind what I’m about. What has started this sudden excitement about iron?

I wonder what is in the wind? just as sure as I’m alive this moment,

there’s something tremendous stirring in iron speculation” [here Hawkins

got up and began to pace the floor with excited eyes and with gesturing

hands]–“something enormous going on in iron, without the shadow of a

doubt, and here I sit mousing in the dark and never knowing anything

about it; great heaven, what an escape I’ve made! this underhanded

mercenary creature might have taken me up–and ruined me! but I have

escaped, and I warrant me I’ll not put my foot into—-

He stopped and turned toward the stranger; saying:

“I have made you a proposition, you have not accepted it, and I desire

that you will consider that I have made none. At the same time my

conscience will not allow me to–. Please alter the figures I named to

thirty thousand dollars, if you will, and let the proposition go to the

company–I will stick to it if it breaks my heart!” The stranger looked

amused, and there was a pretty well defined touch of surprise in his

expression, too, but Hawkins never noticed it. Indeed he scarcely

noticed anything or knew what he was about. The man left; Hawkins flung

himself into a chair; thought a few moments, then glanced around, looked

frightened, sprang to the door—-

Too late-too late! He’s gone! Fool that I am! always a fool! Thirty

thousand–ass that I am! Oh, why didn’t I say fifty thousand!”

He plunged his hands into his hair and leaned his elbows on his knees,

and fell to rocking himself back and forth in anguish. Mrs. Hawkins

sprang in, beaming:

“Well, Si?”

“Oh, con-found the con-founded–con-found it, Nancy. I’ve gone and done

it, now!”

“Done what Si for mercy’s sake!”

“Done everything! Ruined everything!”

“Tell me, tell me, tell me! Don’t keep a body in such suspense. Didn’t

he buy, after all? Didn’t he make an offer?”

Offer? He offered $10,000 for our land, and—-”

“Thank the good providence from the very bottom of my heart of hearts!

What sort of ruin do you call that, Si!”

“Nancy, do you suppose I listened to such a preposterous proposition?

No! Thank fortune I’m not a simpleton! I saw through the pretty scheme

in a second. It’s a vast iron speculation!–millions upon millions in

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