THE INTRUSION OF JIMMY BY P.G. WODEHOUSE

moment, you’re the most important man in the world to me. Where are

you living?”

“Me! Why, in de Park. Dat’s right. One of dem swell detached benches

wit’ a Southern exposure.”

“Well, unless you prefer it, you needn’t sleep in the Park any more.

You can pitch your moving tent with me.”

“What, here, boss?”

“Unless we move.”

“Me fer dis,” said Spike, rolling luxuriously in his chair.

“You’ll want some clothes,” said Jimmy. “We’ll get those to-morrow.

You’re the sort of figure they can fit off the peg. You’re not too

tall, which is a good thing.”

“Bad t’ing fer me, boss. If I’d been taller, I’d have stood fer

being a cop, an’ bin buyin’ a brownstone house on Fifth Avenue by

dis. It’s de cops makes de big money in little old Manhattan, dat’s

who it is.”

“The man who knows!” said Jimmy. “Tell me more, Spike. I suppose a

good many of the New York force do get rich by graft?”

“Sure. Look at old man McEachern.”

“I wish I could. Tell me about him, Spike. You seemed to know him

pretty well.”

“Me? Sure. Dere wasn’t a woise old grafter dan him in de bunch. He

was out fer de dough all de time. But, say, did youse ever see his

girl?”

“What’s that?” said Jimmy, sharply.

“I seen her once.” Spike became almost lyrical in his enthusiasm.

“Gee! She was a boid–a peach fer fair. I’d have left me happy home

fer her. Molly was her monaker. She–”

Jimmy was glaring at him.

“Cut it out!” he cried.

“What’s dat, boss?” said Spike.

“Cut it out!” said Jimmy, savagely.

Spike looked at him, amazed.

“Sure,” he said, puzzled, but realizing that his words had not

pleased the great man.

Jimmy chewed the stem of his pipe irritably, while Spike, full of

excellent intentions, sat on the edge of his chair, drawing

sorrowfully at his cigar and wondering what he had done to give

offense.

“Boss?” said Spike.

“Well?”

“Boss, what’s doin’ here? Put me next to de game. Is it de old lay?

Banks an’ jools from duchesses? You’ll be able to let me sit in at

de game, won’t you?”

Jimmy laughed.

“I’d quite forgotten I hadn’t told you about myself, Spike. I’ve

retired.”

The horrid truth sank slowly into the other’s mind.

“Say! What’s dat, boss? You’re cuttin’ it out?”

“That’s it. Absolutely.”

“Ain’t youse swiping no more jools?”

“Not me.”

“Nor usin’ de what’s-its-name blow-pipe?”

“I have sold my oxy-acetylene blow-pipe, given away my anaesthetics,

and am going to turn over a new leaf, and settle down as a

respectable citizen.”

Spike gasped. His world had fallen about his ears. His excursion

with. Jimmy, the master cracksman, in New York had been the highest

and proudest memory of his life; and, now that they had met again in

London, he had looked forward to a long and prosperous partnership

in crime. He was content that his own share in the partnership

should be humble. It was enough for him to be connected, however

humbly, with such a master. He had looked upon the richness of

London, and he had said with Blucher, “What a city to loot!”

And here was his idol shattering the visions with a word.

“Have another drink, Spike,” said the lost leader sympathetically.

“It’s a shock to you, I guess.”

“I t’ought, boss–”

“I know, I know. These are life’s tragedies. I’m very sorry for you.

But it can’t be helped. I’ve made my pile, so why continue?”

Spike sat silent, with a long face. Jimmy slapped him on the

shoulder.

“Cheer up,” he said. “How do you know that living honestly may not

be splendid fun? Numbers of people do it, you know, and enjoy

themselves tremendously. You must give it a trial, Spike.”

“Me, boss! What, me, too?”

“Sure. You’re my link with–I don’t want to have you remembering

that address in the second month of a ten-year stretch at Dartmoor

Prison. I’m going to look after you, Spike, my son, like a lynx.

We’ll go out together, and see life. Brace up, Spike. Be cheerful.

Grin!”

After a moment’s reflection, the other grinned, albeit faintly.

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