THE INTRUSION OF JIMMY BY P.G. WODEHOUSE

“Who is she?”

“What? Why, Miss McEachern.”

Jimmy had known what the answer would be, but it was scarcely less

of a shock for that reason.

“Miss McEachern?” he echoed.

Lord Dreever nodded a somber nod.

“You’re engaged to her?”

Another somber nod.

“I don’t believe it,” said Jimmy.

“I wish I didn’t,” said his lordship wistfully, ignoring the slight

rudeness of the remark. “But, worse luck, it’s true.”

For the first time since the disclosure of the name, Jimmy’s

attention was directed to the remarkable demeanor of his successful

rival.

“You don’t seem over-pleased,” he said.

“Pleased! Have a fiver each way on ‘pleased’! No, I’m not exactly

leaping with joy.”

“Then, what the devil is it all about? What do you mean? What’s the

idea? If you don’t want to marry Miss McEachern, why did you propose

to her?”

Lord Dreever closed his eyes.

“Dear old boy, don’t! It’s my uncle.”

“Your uncle?”

“Didn’t I explain it all to you–about him wanting me to marry? You

know! I told you the whole thing.”

Jimmy stared in silence.

“Do you mean to say–?” he said, slowly.

He stopped. It was a profanation to put the thing into words.

“What, old man?”

Jimmy gulped.

“Do you mean to say you want to marry Miss McEachern simply because

she has money?” he said.

It was not the first time that he had heard of a case of a British

peer marrying for such a reason, but it was the first time that the

thing had filled him with horror. In some circumstances, things come

home more forcibly to us.

“It’s not me, old man,” murmured his lordship; “it’s my uncle.”

“Your uncle! Good God!” Jimmy clenched his hands, despairingly. “Do

you mean to say that you let your uncle order you about in a thing

like this? Do you mean to say you’re such a–such a–such a

gelatine–backboneless worm–”

“Old man! I say!” protested his lordship, wounded.

“I’d call you a wretched knock-kneed skunk, only I don’t want to be

fulsome. I hate flattering a man to his face.”

Lord Dreever, deeply pained, half-rose from his seat.

“Don’t get up,” urged Jimmy, smoothly. “I couldn’t trust myself.”

His lordship subsided hastily. He was feeling alarmed. He had never

seen this side of Jimmy’s character. At first, he had been merely

aggrieved and disappointed. He had expected sympathy. How, the

matter had become more serious. Jimmy was pacing the room like a

young and hungry tiger. At present, it was true, there was a

billiard-table between them; but his lordship felt that he could

have done with good, stout bars. He nestled in his seat with the

earnest concentration of a limpet on a rock. It would be deuced bad

form, of course, for Jimmy to assault his host, but could Jimmy be

trusted to remember the niceties of etiquette?

“Why the devil she accepted you, I can’t think,” said Jimmy half to

himself, stopping suddenly, and glaring across the table.

Lord Dreever felt relieved. This was not polite, perhaps, but at

least it was not violent.

“That’s what beats me, too, old man,” he said.

“Between you and me, it’s a jolly rum business. This afternoon–”

“What about this afternoon?”

“Why, she wouldn’t have me at any price.”

“You asked her this afternoon?”

“Yes, and it was all right then. She refused me like a bird.

Wouldn’t hear of it. Came damn near laughing in my face. And then,

to-night,” he went on, his voice squeaky at the thought of his

wrongs, “my uncle sends for me, and says she’s changed her mind and

is waiting for me in the morning-room. I go there, and she tells me

in about three words that she’s been thinking it over and that the

whole fearful thing is on again. I call it jolly rough on a chap. I

felt such a frightful ass, you know. I didn’t know what to do,

whether to kiss her, I mean–”

Jimmy snorted violently.

“Eh?” said his lordship, blankly.

“Go on,” said Jimmy, between his teeth.

“I felt a fearful fool, you know. I just said ‘Right ho!’ or

something–dashed if I know now what I did say–and legged it. It’s

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