THE INTRUSION OF JIMMY BY P.G. WODEHOUSE

Very briefly and clearly, Molly had broken off the engagement. She

“thought it best.” She was “afraid it could make neither of us

happy.” All very true, thought his lordship miserably. His

sentiments to a T. At the proper time, he would have liked nothing

better. But why seize for this declaration the precise moment when

he was intending, on the strength of the engagement, to separate his

uncle from twenty pounds? That was what rankled. That Molly could

have no knowledge of his sad condition did not occur to him. He had

a sort of feeling that she ought to have known by instinct. Nature,

as has been pointed out, had equipped Hildebrand Spencer Poynt de

Burgh with one of those cheap-substitute minds. What passed for

brain in him was to genuine gray matter as just-as-good imitation

coffee is to real Mocha. In moments of emotion and mental stress,

consequently, his reasoning, like Spike’s, was apt to be in a class

of its own.

He read the letter for the third time, and a gentle perspiration

began to form on his forehead. This was awful. The presumable

jubilation of Katie, the penniless ripper of the Savoy, when he

should present himself to her a free man, did not enter into the

mental picture that was unfolding before him. She was too remote.

Between him and her lay the fearsome figure of Sir Thomas, rampant,

filling the entire horizon. Nor is this to be wondered at. There was

probably a brief space during which Perseus, concentrating his gaze

upon the monster, did not see Andromeda; and a knight of the Middle

Ages, jousting in the Gentlemen’s Singles for a smile from his lady,

rarely allowed the thought of that smile to occupy his whole mind at

the moment when his boiler-plated antagonist was descending upon him

in the wake of a sharp spear.

So with Spennie Dreever. Bright eyes might shine for him when all

was over, but in the meantime what seemed to him more important was

that bulging eyes would glare.

If only this had happened later–even a day later! The reckless

impulsiveness of the modern girl had undone him. How was he to pay

Hargate the money? Hargate must be paid. That was certain. No other

course was possible. Lord Dreever’s was not one of those natures

that fret restlessly under debt. During his early career at college,

he had endeared himself to the local tradesmen by the magnitude of

the liabilities he had contracted with them. It was not the being in

debt that he minded. It was the consequences. Hargate, he felt

instinctively, was of a revengeful nature. He had given Hargate

twenty pounds’ worth of snubbing, and the latter had presented the

bills. If it were not paid, things would happen. Hargate and he were

members of the same club, and a member of a club who loses money at

cards to a fellow member, and fails to settle up, does not make

himself popular with the committee.

He must get the money. There was no avoiding that conclusion. But

how?

Financially, his lordship was like a fallen country with a glorious

history. There had been a time, during his first two years at

college, when he had reveled in the luxury of a handsome allowance.

This was the golden age, when Sir Thomas Blunt, being, so to speak,

new to the job, and feeling that, having reached the best circles,

he must live up to them, had scattered largesse lavishly. For two

years after his marriage with Lady Julia, he had maintained this

admirable standard, crushing his natural parsimony. He had regarded

the money so spent as capital sunk in an investment. By the end of

the second year, he had found his feet, and began to look about him

for ways of retrenchment. His lordship’s allowance was an obvious

way. He had not to wait long for an excuse for annihilating it.

There is a game called poker, at which a man without much control

over his features may exceed the limits of the handsomest allowance.

His lordship’s face during a game of poker was like the surface of

some quiet pond, ruffled by every breeze. The blank despair of his

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