THE INTRUSION OF JIMMY BY P.G. WODEHOUSE

understand, to cracksman’s etiquette. On the other hand, Sir Thomas,

candor compels me to add that I have you covered.”

There was a pipe in the pocket of his coat. He thrust the stem

earnestly against the lining. Sir Thomas eyed the protuberance

apprehensively, and turned a little pale. Jimmy was scowling

ferociously. Arthur Mifflin’s scowl in act three had been much

admired.

“My gun,” said Jimmy, “is, as you see, in my pocket. I always shoot

from the pocket, in spite of the tailor’s bills. The little fellow

is loaded and cocked. He’s pointing straight at your diamond

solitaire. That fatal spot! No one has ever been hit in the diamond

solitaire, and survived. My finger is on the trigger. So, I should

recommend you not to touch that bell you are looking at. There are

other reasons why you shouldn’t, but those I will go into

presently.”

Sir Thomas’s hand wavered.

“Do if you like, of course,” said Jimmy, agreeably. “It’s your own

house. But I shouldn’t. I am a dead shot at a yard and a half. You

wouldn’t believe the number of sitting haystacks I’ve picked off at

that distance. I just can’t miss. On second thoughts, I sha’n’t fire

to kill you. Let us be humane on this joyful occasion. I shall just

smash your knees. Painful, but not fatal.”

He waggled the pipe suggestively. Sir Thomas blenched. His hand fell

to his side.

“Great!” said Jimmy. “After all, why should you be in a hurry to

break up this very pleasant little meeting. I’m sure I’m not. Let us

chat. How are the theatricals going? Was the duologue a success?

Wait till you see our show. Three of us knew our lines at the dress-

rehearsal.”

Sir Thomas had backed away from the bell, but the retreat was merely

for the convenience of the moment. He understood that it might be

injudicious to press the button just then; but he had recovered his

composure by this time, and he saw that ultimately the game must be

his. His face resumed its normal hue. Automatically, his hands began

to move toward his coat-tails, his feet to spread themselves. Jimmy

noted with a smile these signs of restored complacency. He hoped ere

long to upset that complacency somewhat.

Sir Thomas addressed himself to making Jimmy’s position clear to

him.

“How, may I ask,” he said, “do you propose to leave the castle?”

“Won’t you let me have the automobile?” said Jimmy. “But I guess I

sha’n’t be leaving just yet.”

Sir Thomas laughed shortly.

“No,” he said–“no! I fancy not. I am with you there!”

“Great minds,” said Jimmy. “I shouldn’t be surprised if we thought

alike on all sorts of subjects. Just think how you came round to my

views on ringing bells. But what made you fancy that I intended to

leave the castle?”

“I should hardly have supposed that you would be anxious to stay.”

“On the contrary! It’s the one place I have been in, in the last two

years, that I have felt really satisfied with. Usually, I want to

move on after a week. But I could stop here forever.”

“I am afraid, Mr. Pitt–By the way, an alias, of course?”

Jimmy shook his head.

“I fear not,” he said. “If I had chosen an alias, it would have been

Tressilyan, or Trevelyan, or something. I call Pitt a poor thing in

names. I once knew a man called Ronald Cheylesmore. Lucky devil!”

Sir Thomas returned to the point on which he had been about to

touch.

“I am afraid, Mr. Pitt,” he said, “that you hardly realize your

position.”

“No?” said Jimmy, interested.

“I find you in the act of stealing my wife’s necklace–”

“Would there be any use in telling you that I was not stealing it,

but putting it back?”

Sir Thomas raised his eyebrows in silence.

“No?” said Jimmy. “I was afraid not. You were saying–?”

“I find you in the act of stealing my wife’s necklace,” proceeded

Sir Thomas, “and, because for the moment you succeed in postponing

arrest by threatening me with a revolver–”

An agitated look came into Jimmy’s face.

“Great Scott!” he cried. He felt hastily in his pocket.

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97

Leave a Reply 0

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *