WHAT IS MAN? AND OTHER ESSAYS OF MARK TWAIN

then. The world had suddenly realized that while it was not

noticing the Queen had passed Henry VIII., passed Henry VI. and

Elizabeth, and gaining in length every day. Her reign had

entered the list of the long ones; everybody was interested now–

it was watching a race. Would she pass the long Edward? There

was a possibility of it. Would she pass the long Henry?

Doubtful, most people said. The long George? Impossible!

Everybody said it. But we have lived to see her leave him two

years behind.

I measured off 817 feet of the roadway, a foot representing

a year, and at the beginning and end of each reign I drove a

three-foot white-pine stake in the turf by the roadside and wrote

the name and dates on it. Abreast the middle of the porch-front

stood a great granite flower-vase overflowing with a cataract of

bright-yellow flowers–I can’t think of their name. The vase of

William the Conqueror. We put his name on it and his accession

date, 1066. We started from that and measured off twenty-one

feet of the road, and drove William Rufus’s state; then thirteen

feet and drove the first Henry’s stake; then thirty-five feet and

drove Stephen’s; then nineteen feet, which brought us just past

the summer-house on the left; then we staked out thirty-five,

ten, and seventeen for the second Henry and Richard and John;

turned the curve and entered upon just what was needed for Henry

III.–a level, straight stretch of fifty-six feet of road without

a crinkle in it. And it lay exactly in front of the house, in

the middle of the grounds. There couldn’t have been a better

place for that long reign; you could stand on the porch and see

those two wide-apart stakes almost with your eyes shut. (Fig. 2.)

That isn’t the shape of the road–I have bunched it up like

that to save room. The road had some great curves in it, but

their gradual sweep was such that they were no mar to history.

No, in our road one could tell at a glance who was who by the size

of the vacancy between stakes–with LOCALITY to help, of course.

Although I am away off here in a Swedish village [1] and

those stakes did not stand till the snow came, I can see them

today as plainly as ever; and whenever I think of an English

monarch his stakes rise before me of their own accord and I

notice the large or small space which he takes up on our road.

Are your kings spaced off in your mind? When you think of

Richard III. and of James II. do the durations of their reigns

seem about alike to you? It isn’t so to me; I always notice that

there’s a foot’s difference. When you think of Henry III. do you

see a great long stretch of straight road? I do; and just at the

end where it joins on to Edward I. I always see a small pear-bush

with its green fruit hanging down. When I think of the

Commonwealth I see a shady little group of these small saplings

which we called the oak parlor; when I think of George III. I see

him stretching up the hill, part of him occupied by a flight of

stone steps; and I can locate Stephen to an inch when he comes

into my mind, for he just filled the stretch which went by the

summer-house. Victoria’s reign reached almost to my study door

on the first little summit; there’s sixteen feet to be added now;

I believe that that would carry it to a big pine-tree that was

shattered by some lightning one summer when it was trying to hit me.

We got a good deal of fun out of the history road; and

exercise, too. We trotted the course from the conqueror to the

study, the children calling out the names, dates, and length of

reigns as we passed the stakes, going a good gait along the long

reigns, but slowing down when we came upon people like Mary and

Edward VI., and the short Stuart and Plantagenet, to give time to

get in the statistics. I offered prizes, too–apples. I threw

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