WHAT IS MAN? AND OTHER ESSAYS OF MARK TWAIN

successfully–VANITY, thirst for notoriety. If men were going to

kill for notoriety’s sake, and to win the glory of newspaper

renown, a big trial, and a showy execution, what possible

invention of man could discourage or deter them? The town was in

a sort of panic; it did not know what to do.

However, the grand jury had to take hold of the matter–it

had no choice. It brought in a true bill, and presently the case

went to the county court. The trial was a fine sensation. The

prisoner was the principal witness for the prosecution. He gave

a full account of the assassination; he furnished even the

minutest particulars: how he deposited his keg of powder and

laid his train–from the house to such-and-such a spot; how

George Ronalds and Henry Hart came along just then, smoking, and

he borrowed Hart’s cigar and fired the train with it, shouting,

“Down with all slave-tyrants!” and how Hart and Ronalds made no

effort to capture him, but ran away, and had never come forward

to testify yet.

But they had to testify now, and they did–and pitiful it

was to see how reluctant they were, and how scared. The crowded

house listened to Joyce’s fearful tale with a profound and

breathless interest, and in a deep hush which was not broken till

he broke it himself, in concluding, with a roaring repetition of his

“Death to all slave-tyrants!”–which came so unexpectedly and so

startlingly that it made everyone present catch his breath and gasp.

The trial was put in the paper, with biography and large portrait,

with other slanderous and insane pictures, and the edition sold

beyond imagination.

The execution of Joyce was a fine and picturesque thing. It

drew a vast crowd. Good places in trees and seats on rail fences

sold for half a dollar apiece; lemonade and gingerbread-stands

had great prosperity. Joyce recited a furious and fantastic and

denunciatory speech on the scaffold which had imposing passages

of school-boy eloquence in it, and gave him a reputation on the

spot as an orator, and his name, later, in the society’s records,

of the “Martyr Orator.” He went to his death breathing slaughter and

charging his society to “avenge his murder.” If he knew anything of

human nature he knew that to plenty of young fellows present in that

great crowd he was a grand hero–and enviably situated.

He was hanged. It was a mistake. Within a month from his

death the society which he had honored had twenty new members,

some of them earnest, determined men. They did not court

distinction in the same way, but they celebrated his martyrdom.

The crime which had been obscure and despised had become lofty

and glorified.

Such things were happening all over the country. Wild-

brained martyrdom was succeeded by uprising and organization.

Then, in natural order, followed riot, insurrection, and the

wrack and restitutions of war. It was bound to come, and it

would naturally come in that way. It has been the manner of

reform since the beginning of the world.

——————————————————————

SWITZERLAND, THE CRADLE OF LIBERTY

Interlaken, Switzerland, 1891.

It is a good many years since I was in Switzerland last. In

that remote time there was only one ladder railway in the

country. That state of things is all changed. There isn’t a

mountain in Switzerland now that hasn’t a ladder railroad or two

up its back like suspenders; indeed, some mountains are latticed

with them, and two years hence all will be. In that day the

peasant of the high altitudes will have to carry a lantern when

he goes visiting in the night to keep from stumbling over

railroads that have been built since his last round. And also in

that day, if there shall remain a high-altitude peasant whose

potato-patch hasn’t a railroad through it, it would make him as

conspicuous as William Tell.

However, there are only two best ways to travel through

Switzerland. The first best is afloat. The second best is by

open two-horse carriage. One can come from Lucerne to Interlaken

over the Brunig by ladder railroad in an hour or so now, but you

can glide smoothly in a carriage in ten, and have two hours for

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