Roughing It by Mark Twain

threw double somersaults, sometimes backward and sometimes forward, in

the most extraordinary manner. He was not a demonstrative dog, as a

general thing, but rather of a grave and serious turn of mind, and I

never saw him take so much interest in anything before. He finally

struck out over the mountains, at a gait which we estimated at about two

hundred and fifty miles an hour, and he is going yet. This was about

nine years ago. We look for what is left of him along here every day.

A white man cannot drink the water of Mono Lake, for it is nearly pure

lye. It is said that the Indians in the vicinity drink it sometimes,

though. It is not improbable, for they are among the purest liars I ever

saw. [There will be no additional charge for this joke, except to

parties requiring an explanation of it. This joke has received high

commendation from some of the ablest minds of the age.]

There are no fish in Mono Lake–no frogs, no snakes, no polliwigs–

nothing, in fact, that goes to make life desirable. Millions of wild

ducks and sea-gulls swim about the surface, but no living thing exists

under the surface, except a white feathery sort of worm, one half an inch

long, which looks like a bit of white thread frayed out at the sides. If

you dip up a gallon of water, you will get about fifteen thousand of

these. They give to the water a sort of grayish-white appearance. Then

there is a fly, which looks something like our house fly. These settle

on the beach to eat the worms that wash ashore–and any time, you can see

there a belt of flies an inch deep and six feet wide, and this belt

extends clear around the lake–a belt of flies one hundred miles long.

If you throw a stone among them, they swarm up so thick that they look

dense, like a cloud. You can hold them under water as long as you

please–they do not mind it–they are only proud of it. When you let

them go, they pop up to the surface as dry as a patent office report, and

walk off as unconcernedly as if they had been educated especially with a

view to affording instructive entertainment to man in that particular

way. Providence leaves nothing to go by chance. All things have their

uses and their part and proper place in Nature’s economy: the ducks eat

the flies–the flies eat the worms–the Indians eat all three–the wild

cats eat the Indians–the white folks eat the wild cats–and thus all

things are lovely.

Mono Lake is a hundred miles in a straight line from the ocean–and

between it and the ocean are one or two ranges of mountains–yet

thousands of sea-gulls go there every season to lay their eggs and rear

their young. One would as soon expect to find sea-gulls in Kansas.

And in this connection let us observe another instance of Nature’s

wisdom. The islands in the lake being merely huge masses of lava, coated

over with ashes and pumice-stone, and utterly innocent of vegetation or

anything that would burn; and sea-gull’s eggs being entirely useless to

anybody unless they be cooked, Nature has provided an unfailing spring of

boiling water on the largest island, and you can put your eggs in there,

and in four minutes you can boil them as hard as any statement I have

made during the past fifteen years. Within ten feet of the boiling

spring is a spring of pure cold water, sweet and wholesome.

So, in that island you get your board and washing free of charge–and if

nature had gone further and furnished a nice American hotel clerk who was

crusty and disobliging, and didn’t know anything about the time tables,

or the railroad routes–or–anything–and was proud of it–I would not

wish for a more desirable boarding-house.

Half a dozen little mountain brooks flow into Mono Lake, but not a stream

of any kind flows out of it. It neither rises nor falls, apparently, and

what it does with its surplus water is a dark and bloody mystery.

There are only two seasons in the region round about Mono Lake–and these

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