Roughing It by Mark Twain

Mexican Plug came tearing into town again, shedding foam-flakes like the

spume-spray that drives before a typhoon, and, with one final skip over a

wheelbarrow and a Chinaman, cast anchor in front of the “ranch.”

Such panting and blowing! Such spreading and contracting of the red

equine nostrils, and glaring of the wild equine eye! But was the

imperial beast subjugated? Indeed he was not.

His lordship the Speaker of the House thought he was, and mounted him to

go down to the Capitol; but the first dash the creature made was over a

pile of telegraph poles half as high as a church; and his time to the

Capitol–one mile and three quarters–remains unbeaten to this day. But

then he took an advantage–he left out the mile, and only did the three

quarters. That is to say, he made a straight cut across lots, preferring

fences and ditches to a crooked road; and when the Speaker got to the

Capitol he said he had been in the air so much he felt as if he had made

the trip on a comet.

In the evening the Speaker came home afoot for exercise, and got the

Genuine towed back behind a quartz wagon. The next day I loaned the

animal to the Clerk of the House to go down to the Dana silver mine, six

miles, and he walked back for exercise, and got the horse towed.

Everybody I loaned him to always walked back; they never could get enough

exercise any other way.

Still, I continued to loan him to anybody who was willing to borrow him,

my idea being to get him crippled, and throw him on the borrower’s hands,

or killed, and make the borrower pay for him. But somehow nothing ever

happened to him. He took chances that no other horse ever took and

survived, but he always came out safe. It was his daily habit to try

experiments that had always before been considered impossible, but he

always got through. Sometimes he miscalculated a little, and did not get

his rider through intact, but he always got through himself. Of course I

had tried to sell him; but that was a stretch of simplicity which met

with little sympathy. The auctioneer stormed up and down the streets on

him for four days, dispersing the populace, interrupting business, and

destroying children, and never got a bid–at least never any but the

eighteen-dollar one he hired a notoriously substanceless bummer to make.

The people only smiled pleasantly, and restrained their desire to buy, if

they had any. Then the auctioneer brought in his bill, and I withdrew

the horse from the market. We tried to trade him off at private vendue

next, offering him at a sacrifice for second-hand tombstones, old iron,

temperance tracts–any kind of property. But holders were stiff, and we

retired from the market again. I never tried to ride the horse any more.

Walking was good enough exercise for a man like me, that had nothing the

matter with him except ruptures, internal injuries, and such things.

Finally I tried to give him away. But it was a failure. Parties said

earthquakes were handy enough on the Pacific coast–they did not wish to

own one. As a last resort I offered him to the Governor for the use of

the “Brigade.” His face lit up eagerly at first, but toned down again,

and he said the thing would be too palpable.

Just then the livery stable man brought in his bill for six weeks’

keeping–stall-room for the horse, fifteen dollars; hay for the horse,

two hundred and fifty! The Genuine Mexican Plug had eaten a ton of the

article, and the man said he would have eaten a hundred if he had let

him.

I will remark here, in all seriousness, that the regular price of hay

during that year and a part of the next was really two hundred and fifty

dollars a ton. During a part of the previous year it had sold at five

hundred a ton, in gold, and during the winter before that there was such

scarcity of the article that in several instances small quantities had

brought eight hundred dollars a ton in coin! The consequence might be

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