Roughing It by Mark Twain

were encircled about with fire; and the angels did minister unto

them, and the multitude did see and hear and bear record; and they

know that their record is true, for they all of them did see and

hear, every man for himself; and they were in number about two

thousand and five hundred souls; and they did consist of men, women,

and children.

And what else would they be likely to consist of?

The Book of Ether is an incomprehensible medley of if “history,” much of

it relating to battles and sieges among peoples whom the reader has

possibly never heard of; and who inhabited a country which is not set

down in the geography. These was a King with the remarkable name of

Coriantumr,^^ and he warred with Shared, and Lib, and Shiz, and others,

in the “plains of Heshlon”; and the “valley of Gilgal”; and the

“wilderness of Akish”; and the “land of Moran”; and the “plains of

Agosh”; and “Ogath,” and “Ramah,” and the “land of Corihor,” and the

“hill Comnor,” by “the waters of Ripliancum,” etc., etc., etc. “And it

came to pass,” after a deal of fighting, that Coriantumr, upon making

calculation of his losses, found that “there had been slain two millions

of mighty men, and also their wives and their children”–say 5,000,000 or

6,000,000 in all–“and he began to sorrow in his heart.” Unquestionably

it was time. So he wrote to Shiz, asking a cessation of hostilities, and

offering to give up his kingdom to save his people. Shiz declined,

except upon condition that Coriantumr would come and let him cut his head

off first–a thing which Coriantumr would not do. Then there was more

fighting for a season; then four years were devoted to gathering the

forces for a final struggle–after which ensued a battle, which, I take

it, is the most remarkable set forth in history,–except, perhaps, that

of the Kilkenny cats, which it resembles in some respects. This is the

account of the gathering and the battle:

7. And it came to pass that they did gather together all the

people, upon all the face of the land, who had not been slain, save

it was Ether. And it came to pass that Ether did behold all the

doings of the people; and he beheld that the people who were for

Coriantumr, were gathered together to the army of Coriantumr; and

the people who were for Shiz, were gathered together to the army of

Shiz; wherefore they were for the space of four years gathering

together the people, that they might get all who were upon the face

of the land, and that they might receive all the strength which it

was possible that they could receive. And it came to pass that when

they were all gathered together, every one to the army which he

would, with their wives and their children; both men, women, and

children being armed with weapons of war, having shields, and

breast-plates, and head-plates, and being clothed after the manner

of war, they did march forth one against another, to battle; and

they fought all that day, and conquered not. And it came to pass

that when it was night they were weary, and retired to their camps;

and after they had retired to their camps, they took up a howling

and a lamentation for the loss of the slain of their people; and so

great were their cries, their howlings and lamentations, that it did

rend the air exceedingly. And it came to pass that on the morrow

they did go again to battle, and great and terrible was that day;

nevertheless they conquered not, and when the night came again, they

did rend the air with their cries, and their howlings, and their

mournings, for the loss of the slain of their people.

8. And it came to pass that Coriantumr wrote again an epistle unto

Shiz, desiring that he would not come again to battle, but that he

would take the kingdom, and spare the lives of the people. But

behold, the Spirit of the Lord had ceased striving with them, and

Satan had full power over the hearts of the people, for they were

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