Roughing It by Mark Twain

It isn’t sensational or exciting, but it fills up and looks business

like.”

I canvassed the city again and found one wretched old hay truck dragging

in from the country. But I made affluent use of it. I multiplied it by

sixteen, brought it into town from sixteen different directions, made

sixteen separate items out of it, and got up such another sweat about hay

as Virginia City had never seen in the world before.

This was encouraging. Two nonpareil columns had to be filled, and I was

getting along. Presently, when things began to look dismal again, a

desperado killed a man in a saloon and joy returned once more. I never

was so glad over any mere trifle before in my life. I said to the

murderer:

“Sir, you are a stranger to me, but you have done me a kindness this day

which I can never forget. If whole years of gratitude can be to you any

slight compensation, they shall be yours. I was in trouble and you have

relieved me nobly and at a time when all seemed dark and drear. Count me

your friend from this time forth, for I am not a man to forget a favor.”

If I did not really say that to him I at least felt a sort of itching

desire to do it. I wrote up the murder with a hungry attention to

details, and when it was finished experienced but one regret–namely,

that they had not hanged my benefactor on the spot, so that I could work

him up too.

Next I discovered some emigrant wagons going into camp on the plaza and

found that they had lately come through the hostile Indian country and

had fared rather roughly. I made the best of the item that the

circumstances permitted, and felt that if I were not confined within

rigid limits by the presence of the reporters of the other papers I could

add particulars that would make the article much more interesting.

However, I found one wagon that was going on to California, and made some

judicious inquiries of the proprietor. When I learned, through his short

and surly answers to my cross-questioning, that he was certainly going on

and would not be in the city next day to make trouble, I got ahead of the

other papers, for I took down his list of names and added his party to

the killed and wounded. Having more scope here, I put this wagon through

an Indian fight that to this day has no parallel in history.

My two columns were filled. When I read them over in the morning I felt

that I had found my legitimate occupation at last. I reasoned within

myself that news, and stirring news, too, was what a paper needed, and I

felt that I was peculiarly endowed with the ability to furnish it.

Mr. Goodman said that I was as good a reporter as Dan. I desired no

higher commendation. With encouragement like that, I felt that I could

take my pen and murder all the immigrants on the plains if need be and

the interests of the paper demanded it.

CHAPTER XLIII.

However, as I grew better acquainted with the business and learned the

run of the sources of information I ceased to require the aid of fancy to

any large extent, and became able to fill my columns without diverging

noticeably from the domain of fact.

I struck up friendships with the reporters of the other journals, and we

swapped “regulars” with each other and thus economized work. “Regulars”

are permanent sources of news, like courts, bullion returns, “clean-ups”

at the quartz mills, and inquests. Inasmuch as everybody went armed, we

had an inquest about every day, and so this department was naturally set

down among the “regulars.” We had lively papers in those days. My great

competitor among the reporters was Boggs of the Union. He was an

excellent reporter. Once in three or four months he would get a little

intoxicated, but as a general thing he was a wary and cautious drinker

although always ready to tamper a little with the enemy. He had the

advantage of me in one thing; he could get the monthly public school

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