Roughing It by Mark Twain

carriages nor wagons, their streets are not wide enough, as a

general thing, to admit of the passage of vehicles. At ten o’clock

at night the Chinaman may be seen in all his glory. In every little

cooped-up, dingy cavern of a hut, faint with the odor of burning

Josh-lights and with nothing to see the gloom by save the sickly,

guttering tallow candle, were two or three yellow, long-tailed

vagabonds, coiled up on a sort of short truckle-bed, smoking opium,

motionless and with their lustreless eyes turned inward from excess

of satisfaction–or rather the recent smoker looks thus, immediately

after having passed the pipe to his neighbor–for opium-smoking is a

comfortless operation, and requires constant attention. A lamp sits

on the bed, the length of the long pipe-stem from the smoker’s

mouth; he puts a pellet of opium on the end of a wire, sets it on

fire, and plasters it into the pipe much as a Christian would fill a

hole with putty; then he applies the bowl to the lamp and proceeds

to smoke–and the stewing and frying of the drug and the gurgling of

the juices in the stem would well-nigh turn the stomach of a statue.

John likes it, though; it soothes him, he takes about two dozen

whiffs, and then rolls over to dream, Heaven only knows what, for we

could not imagine by looking at the soggy creature. Possibly in his

visions he travels far away from the gross world and his regular

washing, and feast on succulent rats and birds’-nests in Paradise.

Mr. Ah Sing keeps a general grocery and provision store at No. 13 Wang

street. He lavished his hospitality upon our party in the friendliest

way. He had various kinds of colored and colorless wines and brandies,

with unpronouncable names, imported from China in little crockery jugs,

and which he offered to us in dainty little miniature wash-basins of

porcelain. He offered us a mess of birds’-nests; also, small, neat

sausages, of which we could have swallowed several yards if we had chosen

to try, but we suspected that each link contained the corpse of a mouse,

and therefore refrained. Mr. Sing had in his store a thousand articles

of merchandise, curious to behold, impossible to imagine the uses of, and

beyond our ability to describe.

His ducks, however, and his eggs, we could understand; the former were

split open and flattened out like codfish, and came from China in that

shape, and the latter were plastered over with some kind of paste which

kept them fresh and palatable through the long voyage.

We found Mr. Hong Wo, No. 37 Chow-chow street, making up a lottery

scheme–in fact we found a dozen others occupied in the same way in

various parts of the quarter, for about every third Chinaman runs a

lottery, and the balance of the tribe “buck” at it. “Tom,” who speaks

faultless English, and used to be chief and only cook to the Territorial

Enterprise, when the establishment kept bachelor’s hall two years ago,

said that “Sometime Chinaman buy ticket one dollar hap, ketch um two tree

hundred, sometime no ketch um anything; lottery like one man fight um

seventy–may-be he whip, may-be he get whip heself, welly good.”

However, the percentage being sixty-nine against him, the chances are,

as a general thing, that “he get whip heself.” We could not see that

these lotteries differed in any respect from our own, save that the

figures being Chinese, no ignorant white man might ever hope to succeed

in telling “t’other from which;” the manner of drawing is similar to

ours.

Mr. See Yup keeps a fancy store on Live Fox street. He sold us fans of

white feathers, gorgeously ornamented; perfumery that smelled like

Limburger cheese, Chinese pens, and watch-charms made of a stone

unscratchable with steel instruments, yet polished and tinted like the

inner coat of a sea-shell. As tokens of his esteem, See Yup presented

the party with gaudy plumes made of gold tinsel and trimmed with

peacocks’ feathers.

We ate chow-chow with chop-sticks in the celestial restaurants; our

comrade chided the moon-eyed damsels in front of the houses for their

want of feminine reserve; we received protecting Josh-lights from our

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