Roughing It by Mark Twain

buckskin gloves with great deliberation and insufferable dignity–taking

not the slightest notice of a dozen solicitous inquires after his health,

and humbly facetious and flattering accostings, and obsequious tenders of

service, from five or six hairy and half-civilized station-keepers and

hostlers who were nimbly unhitching our steeds and bringing the fresh

team out of the stables–for in the eyes of the stage-driver of that day,

station-keepers and hostlers were a sort of good enough low creatures,

useful in their place, and helping to make up a world, but not the kind

of beings which a person of distinction could afford to concern himself

with; while, on the contrary, in the eyes of the station-keeper and the

hostler, the stage-driver was a hero–a great and shining dignitary, the

world’s favorite son, the envy of the people, the observed of the

nations. When they spoke to him they received his insolent silence

meekly, and as being the natural and proper conduct of so great a man;

when he opened his lips they all hung on his words with admiration (he

never honored a particular individual with a remark, but addressed it

with a broad generality to the horses, the stables, the surrounding

country and the human underlings); when he discharged a facetious

insulting personality at a hostler, that hostler was happy for the day;

when he uttered his one jest–old as the hills, coarse, profane, witless,

and inflicted on the same audience, in the same language, every time his

coach drove up there–the varlets roared, and slapped their thighs, and

swore it was the best thing they’d ever heard in all their lives. And

how they would fly around when he wanted a basin of water, a gourd of the

same, or a light for his pipe!–but they would instantly insult a

passenger if he so far forgot himself as to crave a favor at their hands.

They could do that sort of insolence as well as the driver they copied it

from–for, let it be borne in mind, the overland driver had but little

less contempt for his passengers than he had for his hostlers.

The hostlers and station-keepers treated the really powerful conductor of

the coach merely with the best of what was their idea of civility, but

the driver was the only being they bowed down to and worshipped. How

admiringly they would gaze up at him in his high seat as he gloved

himself with lingering deliberation, while some happy hostler held the

bunch of reins aloft, and waited patiently for him to take it! And how

they would bombard him with glorifying ejaculations as he cracked his

long whip and went careering away.

The station buildings were long, low huts, made of sundried, mud-colored

bricks, laid up without mortar (adobes, the Spaniards call these bricks,

and Americans shorten it to ‘dobies). The roofs, which had no slant to

them worth speaking of, were thatched and then sodded or covered with a

thick layer of earth, and from this sprung a pretty rank growth of weeds

and grass. It was the first time we had ever seen a man’s front yard on

top of his house. The building consisted of barns, stable-room for

twelve or fifteen horses, and a hut for an eating-room for passengers.

This latter had bunks in it for the station-keeper and a hostler or two.

You could rest your elbow on its eaves, and you had to bend in order to

get in at the door. In place of a window there was a square hole about

large enough for a man to crawl through, but this had no glass in it.

There was no flooring, but the ground was packed hard. There was no

stove, but the fire-place served all needful purposes. There were no

shelves, no cupboards, no closets. In a corner stood an open sack of

flour, and nestling against its base were a couple of black and venerable

tin coffee-pots, a tin teapot, a little bag of salt, and a side of bacon.

By the door of the station-keeper’s den, outside, was a tin wash-basin,

on the ground. Near it was a pail of water and a piece of yellow bar

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