Roughing It by Mark Twain

bar, the shouldered parties wheeled indignantly, recognized him, and–

apologized.

They got a look in return that froze their marrow, and by that time a

curled and breast-pinned bar keeper was beaming over the counter, proud

of the established acquaintanceship that permitted such a familiar form

of speech as:

“How’re ye, Billy, old fel? Glad to see you. What’ll you take–the old

thing?”

The “old thing” meant his customary drink, of course.

The best known names in the Territory of Nevada were those belonging to

these long-tailed heroes of the revolver. Orators, Governors,

capitalists and leaders of the legislature enjoyed a degree of fame, but

it seemed local and meagre when contrasted with the fame of such men as

Sam Brown, Jack Williams, Billy Mulligan, Farmer Pease, Sugarfoot Mike,

Pock Marked Jake, El Dorado Johnny, Jack McNabb, Joe McGee, Jack Harris,

Six-fingered Pete, etc., etc. There was a long list of them. They were

brave, reckless men, and traveled with their lives in their hands. To

give them their due, they did their killing principally among themselves,

and seldom molested peaceable citizens, for they considered it small

credit to add to their trophies so cheap a bauble as the death of a man

who was “not on the shoot,” as they phrased it. They killed each other

on slight provocation, and hoped and expected to be killed themselves–

for they held it almost shame to die otherwise than “with their boots

on,” as they expressed it.

I remember an instance of a desperado’s contempt for such small game as a

private citizen’s life. I was taking a late supper in a restaurant one

night, with two reporters and a little printer named–Brown, for

instance–any name will do. Presently a stranger with a long-tailed coat

on came in, and not noticing Brown’s hat, which was lying in a chair, sat

down on it. Little Brown sprang up and became abusive in a moment. The

stranger smiled, smoothed out the hat, and offered it to Brown with

profuse apologies couched in caustic sarcasm, and begged Brown not to

destroy him. Brown threw off his coat and challenged the man to fight–

abused him, threatened him, impeached his courage, and urged and even

implored him to fight; and in the meantime the smiling stranger placed

himself under our protection in mock distress. But presently he assumed

a serious tone, and said:

“Very well, gentlemen, if we must fight, we must, I suppose. But don’t

rush into danger and then say I gave you no warning. I am more than a

match for all of you when I get started. I will give you proofs, and

then if my friend here still insists, I will try to accommodate him.”

The table we were sitting at was about five feet long, and unusually

cumbersome and heavy. He asked us to put our hands on the dishes and

hold them in their places a moment–one of them was a large oval dish

with a portly roast on it. Then he sat down, tilted up one end of the

table, set two of the legs on his knees, took the end of the table

between his teeth, took his hands away, and pulled down with his teeth

till the table came up to a level position, dishes and all! He said he

could lift a keg of nails with his teeth. He picked up a common glass

tumbler and bit a semi-circle out of it. Then he opened his bosom and

showed us a net-work of knife and bullet scars; showed us more on his

arms and face, and said he believed he had bullets enough in his body to

make a pig of lead. He was armed to the teeth. He closed with the

remark that he was Mr.—- of Cariboo–a celebrated name whereat we shook

in our shoes. I would publish the name, but for the suspicion that he

might come and carve me. He finally inquired if Brown still thirsted for

blood. Brown turned the thing over in his mind a moment, and then–asked

him to supper.

With the permission of the reader, I will group together, in the next

chapter, some samples of life in our small mountain village in the old

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