sat down before the clergyman, placed his fire-hat on an unfinished
manuscript sermon under the minister’s nose, took from it a red silk
handkerchief, wiped his brow and heaved a sigh of dismal impressiveness,
explanatory of his business.
He choked, and even shed tears; but with an effort he mastered his voice
and said in lugubrious tones:
“Are you the duck that runs the gospel-mill next door?”
“Am I the–pardon me, I believe I do not understand?”
With another sigh and a half-sob, Scotty rejoined:
“Why you see we are in a bit of trouble, and the boys thought maybe you
would give us a lift, if we’d tackle you–that is, if I’ve got the rights
of it and you are the head clerk of the doxology-works next door.”
“I am the shepherd in charge of the flock whose fold is next door.”
“The which?”
“The spiritual adviser of the little company of believers whose sanctuary
adjoins these premises.”
Scotty scratched his head, reflected a moment, and then said:
“You ruther hold over me, pard. I reckon I can’t call that hand. Ante
and pass the buck.”
“How? I beg pardon. What did I understand you to say?”
“Well, you’ve ruther got the bulge on me. Or maybe we’ve both got the
bulge, somehow. You don’t smoke me and I don’t smoke you. You see, one
of the boys has passed in his checks and we want to give him a good send-
off, and so the thing I’m on now is to roust out somebody to jerk a
little chin-music for us and waltz him through handsome.”
“My friend, I seem to grow more and more bewildered. Your observations
are wholly incomprehensible to me. Cannot you simplify them in some way?
At first I thought perhaps I understood you, but I grope now. Would it
not expedite matters if you restricted yourself to categorical statements
of fact unencumbered with obstructing accumulations of metaphor and
allegory?”
Another pause, and more reflection. Then, said Scotty:
“I’ll have to pass, I judge.”
“How?”
“You’ve raised me out, pard.”
“I still fail to catch your meaning.”
“Why, that last lead of yourn is too many for me–that’s the idea. I
can’t neither-trump nor follow suit.”
The clergyman sank back in his chair perplexed. Scotty leaned his head
on his hand and gave himself up to thought.
Presently his face came up, sorrowful but confident.
“I’ve got it now, so’s you can savvy,” he said. “What we want is a
gospel-sharp. See?”
“A what?”
“Gospel-sharp. Parson.”
“Oh! Why did you not say so before? I am a clergyman–a parson.”
“Now you talk! You see my blind and straddle it like a man. Put it
there!”–extending a brawny paw, which closed over the minister’s small
hand and gave it a shake indicative of fraternal sympathy and fervent
gratification.
“Now we’re all right, pard. Let’s start fresh. Don’t you mind my
snuffling a little–becuz we’re in a power of trouble. You see, one of
the boys has gone up the flume–”
“Gone where?”
“Up the flume–throwed up the sponge, you understand.”
“Thrown up the sponge?”
“Yes–kicked the bucket–”
“Ah–has departed to that mysterious country from whose bourne no
traveler returns.”
“Return! I reckon not. Why pard, he’s dead!”
“Yes, I understand.”
“Oh, you do? Well I thought maybe you might be getting tangled some
more. Yes, you see he’s dead again–”
“Again? Why, has he ever been dead before?”
“Dead before? No! Do you reckon a man has got as many lives as a cat?
But you bet you he’s awful dead now, poor old boy, and I wish I’d never
seen this day. I don’t want no better friend than Buck Fanshaw.
I knowed him by the back; and when I know a man and like him, I freeze to
him–you hear me. Take him all round, pard, there never was a bullier
man in the mines. No man ever knowed Buck Fanshaw to go back on a
friend. But it’s all up, you know, it’s all up. It ain’t no use.
They’ve scooped him.”
“Scooped him?”
“Yes–death has. Well, well, well, we’ve got to give him up. Yes
indeed. It’s a kind of a hard world, after all, ain’t it? But pard, he