Roughing It by Mark Twain

and he could have justly taken advantage of it (a thing which I would

have done with more than lightning promptness if I had been Secretary

myself). But the United States never applauded this devotion. Indeed, I

think my country was ashamed to have so improvident a person in its

employ.

Those “instructions” (we used to read a chapter from them every morning,

as intellectual gymnastics, and a couple of chapters in Sunday school

every Sabbath, for they treated of all subjects under the sun and had

much valuable religious matter in them along with the other statistics)

those “instructions” commanded that pen-knives, envelopes, pens and

writing-paper be furnished the members of the legislature. So the

Secretary made the purchase and the distribution. The knives cost three

dollars apiece. There was one too many, and the Secretary gave it to the

Clerk of the House of Representatives. The United States said the Clerk

of the House was not a “member” of the legislature, and took that three

dollars out of the Secretary’s salary, as usual.

White men charged three or four dollars a “load” for sawing up stove-

wood. The Secretary was sagacious enough to know that the United States

would never pay any such price as that; so he got an Indian to saw up a

load of office wood at one dollar and a half. He made out the usual

voucher, but signed no name to it–simply appended a note explaining that

an Indian had done the work, and had done it in a very capable and

satisfactory way, but could not sign the voucher owing to lack of ability

in the necessary direction. The Secretary had to pay that dollar and a

half. He thought the United States would admire both his economy and his

honesty in getting the work done at half price and not putting a

pretended Indian’s signature to the voucher, but the United States did

not see it in that light.

The United States was too much accustomed to employing dollar-and-a-half

thieves in all manner of official capacities to regard his explanation of

the voucher as having any foundation in fact.

But the next time the Indian sawed wood for us I taught him to make a

cross at the bottom of the voucher–it looked like a cross that had been

drunk a year–and then I “witnessed” it and it went through all right.

The United States never said a word. I was sorry I had not made the

voucher for a thousand loads of wood instead of one.

The government of my country snubs honest simplicity but fondles artistic

villainy, and I think I might have developed into a very capable

pickpocket if I had remained in the public service a year or two.

That was a fine collection of sovereigns, that first Nevada legislature.

They levied taxes to the amount of thirty or forty thousand dollars and

ordered expenditures to the extent of about a million. Yet they had

their little periodical explosions of economy like all other bodies of

the kind. A member proposed to save three dollars a day to the nation by

dispensing with the Chaplain. And yet that short-sighted man needed the

Chaplain more than any other member, perhaps, for he generally sat with

his feet on his desk, eating raw turnips, during the morning prayer.

The legislature sat sixty days, and passed private tollroad franchises

all the time. When they adjourned it was estimated that every citizen

owned about three franchises, and it was believed that unless Congress

gave the Territory another degree of longitude there would not be room

enough to accommodate the toll-roads. The ends of them were hanging over

the boundary line everywhere like a fringe.

The fact is, the freighting business had grown to such important

proportions that there was nearly as much excitement over suddenly

acquired toll-road fortunes as over the wonderful silver mines.

CHAPTER XXVI.

By and by I was smitten with the silver fever. “Prospecting parties”

were leaving for the mountains every day, and discovering and taking

possession of rich silver-bearing lodes and ledges of quartz. Plainly

this was the road to fortune. The great “Gould and Curry” mine was held

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