Roughing It by Mark Twain

Quite a broad tract of land near the temple, extending from the sea to

the mountain top, was sacred to the god Lono in olden times–so sacred

that if a common native set his sacrilegious foot upon it it was

judicious for him to make his will, because his time had come. He might

go around it by water, but he could not cross it. It was well sprinkled

with pagan temples and stocked with awkward, homely idols carved out of

logs of wood. There was a temple devoted to prayers for rain–and with

fine sagacity it was placed at a point so well up on the mountain side

that if you prayed there twenty-four times a day for rain you would be

likely to get it every time. You would seldom get to your Amen before

you would have to hoist your umbrella.

And there was a large temple near at hand which was built in a single

night, in the midst of storm and thunder and rain, by the ghastly hands

of dead men! Tradition says that by the weird glare of the lightning a

noiseless multitude of phantoms were seen at their strange labor far up

the mountain side at dead of night–flitting hither and thither and

bearing great lava-blocks clasped in their nerveless fingers–appearing

and disappearing as the pallid lustre fell upon their forms and faded

away again. Even to this day, it is said, the natives hold this dread

structure in awe and reverence, and will not pass by it in the night.

At noon I observed a bevy of nude native young ladies bathing in the sea,

and went and sat down on their clothes to keep them from being stolen.

I begged them to come out, for the sea was rising and I was satisfied

that they were running some risk. But they were not afraid, and

presently went on with their sport. They were finished swimmers and

divers, and enjoyed themselves to the last degree.

They swam races, splashed and ducked and tumbled each other about, and

filled the air with their laughter. It is said that the first thing an

Islander learns is how to swim; learning to walk being a matter of

smaller consequence, comes afterward. One hears tales of native men and

women swimming ashore from vessels many miles at sea–more miles, indeed,

than I dare vouch for or even mention. And they tell of a native diver

who went down in thirty or forty-foot waters and brought up an anvil!

I think he swallowed the anvil afterward, if my memory serves me.

However I will not urge this point.

I have spoken, several times, of the god Lono–I may as well furnish two

or three sentences concerning him.

The idol the natives worshipped for him was a slender, unornamented staff

twelve feet long. Tradition says he was a favorite god on the Island of

Hawaii–a great king who had been deified for meritorious services–just

our own fashion of rewarding heroes, with the difference that we would

have made him a Postmaster instead of a god, no doubt. In an angry

moment he slew his wife, a goddess named Kaikilani Aiii. Remorse of

conscience drove him mad, and tradition presents us the singular

spectacle of a god traveling “on the shoulder;” for in his gnawing grief

he wandered about from place to place boxing and wrestling with all whom

he met. Of course this pastime soon lost its novelty, inasmuch as it

must necessarily have been the case that when so powerful a deity sent a

frail human opponent “to grass” he never came back any more. Therefore,

he instituted games called makahiki, and ordered that they should be held

in his honor, and then sailed for foreign lands on a three-cornered raft,

stating that he would return some day–and that was the last of Lono.

He was never seen any more; his raft got swamped, perhaps. But the

people always expected his return, and thus they were easily led to

accept Captain Cook as the restored god.

Some of the old natives believed Cook was Lono to the day of their death;

but many did not, for they could not understand how he could die if he

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