Roughing It by Mark Twain

and make it fast, was as easy as it was to eat your dinner.

Every man owned “feet” in fifty different wild cat mines and considered

his fortune made. Think of a city with not one solitary poor man in it!

One would suppose that when month after month went by and still not a

wild cat mine (by wild cat I mean, in general terms, any claim not

located on the mother vein, i.e., the “Comstock”) yielded a ton of rock

worth crushing, the people would begin to wonder if they were not putting

too much faith in their prospective riches; but there was not a thought

of such a thing. They burrowed away, bought and sold, and were happy.

New claims were taken up daily, and it was the friendly custom to run

straight to the newspaper offices, give the reporter forty or fifty

“feet,” and get them to go and examine the mine and publish a notice of

it. They did not care a fig what you said about the property so you said

something. Consequently we generally said a word or two to the effect

that the “indications” were good, or that the ledge was “six feet wide,”

or that the rock “resembled the Comstock” (and so it did–but as a

general thing the resemblance was not startling enough to knock you

down). If the rock was moderately promising, we followed the custom of

the country, used strong adjectives and frothed at the mouth as if a very

marvel in silver discoveries had transpired. If the mine was a

“developed” one, and had no pay ore to show (and of course it hadn’t), we

praised the tunnel; said it was one of the most infatuating tunnels in

the land; driveled and driveled about the tunnel till we ran entirely out

of ecstasies–but never said a word about the rock. We would squander

half a column of adulation on a shaft, or a new wire rope, or a dressed

pine windlass, or a fascinating force pump, and close with a burst of

admiration of the “gentlemanly and efficient Superintendent” of the mine

–but never utter a whisper about the rock. And those people were always

pleased, always satisfied. Occasionally we patched up and varnished our

reputation for discrimination and stern, undeviating accuracy, by giving

some old abandoned claim a blast that ought to have made its dry bones

rattle–and then somebody would seize it and sell it on the fleeting

notoriety thus conferred upon it.

There was nothing in the shape of a mining claim that was not salable.

We received presents of “feet” every day. If we needed a hundred dollars

or so, we sold some; if not, we hoarded it away, satisfied that it would

ultimately be worth a thousand dollars a foot. I had a trunk about half

full of “stock.” When a claim made a stir in the market and went up to a

high figure, I searched through my pile to see if I had any of its stock

–and generally found it.

The prices rose and fell constantly; but still a fall disturbed us

little, because a thousand dollars a foot was our figure, and so we were

content to let it fluctuate as much as it pleased till it reached it.

My pile of stock was not all given to me by people who wished their

claims “noticed.” At least half of it was given me by persons who had no

thought of such a thing, and looked for nothing more than a simple verbal

“thank you;” and you were not even obliged by law to furnish that.

If you are coming up the street with a couple of baskets of apples in

your hands, and you meet a friend, you naturally invite him to take a

few. That describes the condition of things in Virginia in the “flush

times.” Every man had his pockets full of stock, and it was the actual

custom of the country to part with small quantities of it to friends

without the asking.

Very often it was a good idea to close the transaction instantly, when a

man offered a stock present to a friend, for the offer was only good and

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