Roughing It by Mark Twain

jury trial. A noted desperado killed Mr. B., a good citizen, in the most

wanton and cold-blooded way. Of course the papers were full of it, and

all men capable of reading, read about it. And of course all men not

deaf and dumb and idiotic, talked about it. A jury-list was made out,

and Mr. B. L., a prominent banker and a valued citizen, was questioned

precisely as he would have been questioned in any court in America:

“Have you heard of this homicide?”

“Yes.”

“Have you held conversations upon the subject?”

“Yes.”

“Have you formed or expressed opinions about it?”

“Yes.”

“Have you read the newspaper accounts of it?”

“Yes.”

“We do not want you.”

A minister, intelligent, esteemed, and greatly respected; a merchant of

high character and known probity; a mining superintendent of intelligence

and unblemished reputation; a quartz mill owner of excellent standing,

were all questioned in the same way, and all set aside. Each said the

public talk and the newspaper reports had not so biased his mind but that

sworn testimony would overthrow his previously formed opinions and enable

him to render a verdict without prejudice and in accordance with the

facts. But of course such men could not be trusted with the case.

Ignoramuses alone could mete out unsullied justice.

When the peremptory challenges were all exhausted, a jury of twelve men

was impaneled–a jury who swore they had neither heard, read, talked

about nor expressed an opinion concerning a murder which the very cattle

in the corrals, the Indians in the sage-brush and the stones in the

streets were cognizant of! It was a jury composed of two desperadoes,

two low beer-house politicians, three bar-keepers, two ranchmen who could

not read, and three dull, stupid, human donkeys! It actually came out

afterward, that one of these latter thought that incest and arson were

the same thing.

The verdict rendered by this jury was, Not Guilty. What else could one

expect?

The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty, and a premium

upon ignorance, stupidity and perjury. It is a shame that we must

continue to use a worthless system because it was good a thousand years

ago. In this age, when a gentleman of high social standing, intelligence

and probity, swears that testimony given under solemn oath will outweigh,

with him, street talk and newspaper reports based upon mere hearsay, he

is worth a hundred jurymen who will swear to their own ignorance and

stupidity, and justice would be far safer in his hands than in theirs.

Why could not the jury law be so altered as to give men of brains and

honesty and equal chance with fools and miscreants? Is it right to show

the present favoritism to one class of men and inflict a disability on

another, in a land whose boast is that all its citizens are free and

equal? I am a candidate for the legislature. I desire to tamper with

the jury law. I wish to so alter it as to put a premium on intelligence

and character, and close the jury box against idiots, blacklegs, and

people who do not read newspapers. But no doubt I shall be defeated–

every effort I make to save the country “misses fire.”

My idea, when I began this chapter, was to say something about

desperadoism in the “flush times” of Nevada. To attempt a portrayal of

that era and that land, and leave out the blood and carnage, would be

like portraying Mormondom and leaving out polygamy. The desperado

stalked the streets with a swagger graded according to the number of his

homicides, and a nod of recognition from him was sufficient to make a

humble admirer happy for the rest of the day. The deference that was

paid to a desperado of wide reputation, and who “kept his private

graveyard,” as the phrase went, was marked, and cheerfully accorded.

When he moved along the sidewalk in his excessively long-tailed frock-

coat, shiny stump-toed boots, and with dainty little slouch hat tipped

over left eye, the small-fry roughs made room for his majesty; when he

entered the restaurant, the waiters deserted bankers and merchants to

overwhelm him with obsequious service; when he shouldered his way to a

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