Roughing It by Mark Twain

step; the priests fought in the front rank and exhorted them both by

voice and inspiriting example to remember their oath–to die, if need be,

but never cross the fatal line. The struggle was manfully maintained,

but at last the chief priest fell, pierced to the heart with a spear, and

the unlucky omen fell like a blight upon the brave souls at his back;

with a triumphant shout the invaders pressed forward–the line was

crossed–the offended gods deserted the despairing army, and, accepting

the doom their perjury had brought upon them, they broke and fled over

the plain where Honolulu stands now–up the beautiful Nuuanu Valley–

paused a moment, hemmed in by precipitous mountains on either hand and

the frightful precipice of the Pari in front, and then were driven over–

a sheer plunge of six hundred feet!

The story is pretty enough, but Mr. Jarves’ excellent history says the

Oahuans were intrenched in Nuuanu Valley; that Kamehameha ousted them,

routed them, pursued them up the valley and drove them over the

precipice. He makes no mention of our bone-yard at all in his book.

Impressed by the profound silence and repose that rested over the

beautiful landscape, and being, as usual, in the rear, I gave voice to my

thoughts. I said:

“What a picture is here slumbering in the solemn glory of the moon! How

strong the rugged outlines of the dead volcano stand out against the

clear sky! What a snowy fringe marks the bursting of the surf over the

long, curved reef! How calmly the dim city sleeps yonder in the plain!

How soft the shadows lie upon the stately mountains that border the

dream-haunted Mauoa Valley! What a grand pyramid of billowy clouds

towers above the storied Pari! How the grim warriors of the past seem

flocking in ghostly squadrons to their ancient battlefield again–how the

wails of the dying well up from the–”

At this point the horse called Oahu sat down in the sand. Sat down to

listen, I suppose. Never mind what he heard, I stopped apostrophising

and convinced him that I was not a man to allow contempt of Court on the

part of a horse. I broke the back-bone of a Chief over his rump and set

out to join the cavalcade again.

Very considerably fagged out we arrived in town at 9 o’clock at night,

myself in the lead–for when my horse finally came to understand that he

was homeward bound and hadn’t far to go, he turned his attention strictly

to business.

This is a good time to drop in a paragraph of information. There is no

regular livery stable in Honolulu, or, indeed, in any part of the Kingdom

of Hawaii; therefore unless you are acquainted with wealthy residents

(who all have good horses), you must hire animals of the wretchedest

description from the Kanakas. (i.e. natives.) Any horse you hire, even

though it be from a white man, is not often of much account, because it

will be brought in for you from some ranch, and has necessarily been

leading a hard life. If the Kanakas who have been caring for him

(inveterate riders they are) have not ridden him half to death every day

themselves, you can depend upon it they have been doing the same thing by

proxy, by clandestinely hiring him out. At least, so I am informed. The

result is, that no horse has a chance to eat, drink, rest, recuperate, or

look well or feel well, and so strangers go about the Islands mounted as

I was to-day.

In hiring a horse from a Kanaka, you must have all your eyes about you,

because you can rest satisfied that you are dealing with a shrewd

unprincipled rascal. You may leave your door open and your trunk

unlocked as long as you please, and he will not meddle with your

property; he has no important vices and no inclination to commit robbery

on a large scale; but if he can get ahead of you in the horse business,

he will take a genuine delight in doing it. This traits is

characteristic of horse jockeys, the world over, is it not? He will

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