Roughing It by Mark Twain

in turn. An understood sign hung at her door during these months. When

the sign was taken down, it meant “NEXT.”

In those days woman was rigidly taught to “know her place.” Her place

was to do all the work, take all the cuffs, provide all the food, and

content herself with what was left after her lord had finished his

dinner. She was not only forbidden, by ancient law, and under penalty of

death, to eat with her husband or enter a canoe, but was debarred, under

the same penalty, from eating bananas, pine-apples, oranges and other

choice fruits at any time or in any place. She had to confine herself

pretty strictly to “poi” and hard work. These poor ignorant heathen seem

to have had a sort of groping idea of what came of woman eating fruit in

the garden of Eden, and they did not choose to take any more chances.

But the missionaries broke up this satisfactory arrangement of things.

They liberated woman and made her the equal of man.

The natives had a romantic fashion of burying some of their children

alive when the family became larger than necessary. The missionaries

interfered in this matter too, and stopped it.

To this day the natives are able to lie down and die whenever they want

to, whether there is anything the matter with them or not. If a Kanaka

takes a notion to die, that is the end of him; nobody can persuade him to

hold on; all the doctors in the world could not save him.

A luxury which they enjoy more than anything else, is a large funeral.

If a person wants to get rid of a troublesome native, it is only

necessary to promise him a fine funeral and name the hour and he will be

on hand to the minute–at least his remains will.

All the natives are Christians, now, but many of them still desert to the

Great Shark God for temporary succor in time of trouble. An irruption of

the great volcano of Kilauea, or an earthquake, always brings a deal of

latent loyalty to the Great Shark God to the surface. It is common

report that the King, educated, cultivated and refined Christian

gentleman as he undoubtedly is, still turns to the idols of his fathers

for help when disaster threatens. A planter caught a shark, and one of

his christianized natives testified his emancipation from the thrall of

ancient superstition by assisting to dissect the shark after a fashion

forbidden by his abandoned creed. But remorse shortly began to torture

him. He grew moody and sought solitude; brooded over his sin, refused

food, and finally said he must die and ought to die, for he had sinned

against the Great Shark God and could never know peace any more. He was

proof against persuasion and ridicule, and in the course of a day or two

took to his bed and died, although he showed no symptom of disease.

His young daughter followed his lead and suffered a like fate within the

week. Superstition is ingrained in the native blood and bone and it is

only natural that it should crop out in time of distress. Wherever one

goes in the Islands, he will find small piles of stones by the wayside,

covered with leafy offerings, placed there by the natives to appease evil

spirits or honor local deities belonging to the mythology of former days.

In the rural districts of any of the Islands, the traveler hourly comes

upon parties of dusky maidens bathing in the streams or in the sea

without any clothing on and exhibiting no very intemperate zeal in the

matter of hiding their nakedness. When the missionaries first took up

their residence in Honolulu, the native women would pay their families

frequent friendly visits, day by day, not even clothed with a blush.

It was found a hard matter to convince them that this was rather

indelicate. Finally the missionaries provided them with long, loose

calico robes, and that ended the difficulty–for the women would troop

through the town, stark naked, with their robes folded under their arms,

march to the missionary houses and then proceed to dress!–The natives

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