Roughing It by Mark Twain

hosts and “dickered” for a pagan God or two. Finally, we were impressed

with the genius of a Chinese book-keeper; he figured up his accounts on a

machine like a gridiron with buttons strung on its bars; the different

rows represented units, tens, hundreds and thousands. He fingered them

with incredible rapidity–in fact, he pushed them from place to place as

fast as a musical professor’s fingers travel over the keys of a piano.

They are a kindly disposed, well-meaning race, and are respected and well

treated by the upper classes, all over the Pacific coast. No Californian

gentleman or lady ever abuses or oppresses a Chinaman, under any

circumstances, an explanation that seems to be much needed in the East.

Only the scum of the population do it–they and their children; they,

and, naturally and consistently, the policemen and politicians, likewise,

for these are the dust-licking pimps and slaves of the scum, there as

well as elsewhere in America.

CHAPTER LV.

I began to get tired of staying in one place so long.

There was no longer satisfying variety in going down to Carson to report

the proceedings of the legislature once a year, and horse-races and

pumpkin-shows once in three months; (they had got to raising pumpkins and

potatoes in Washoe Valley, and of course one of the first achievements of

the legislature was to institute a ten-thousand-dollar Agricultural Fair

to show off forty dollars’ worth of those pumpkins in–however, the

territorial legislature was usually spoken of as the “asylum”). I wanted

to see San Francisco. I wanted to go somewhere. I wanted–I did not

know what I wanted. I had the “spring fever” and wanted a change,

principally, no doubt. Besides, a convention had framed a State

Constitution; nine men out of every ten wanted an office; I believed that

these gentlemen would “treat” the moneyless and the irresponsible among

the population into adopting the constitution and thus well-nigh killing

the country (it could not well carry such a load as a State government,

since it had nothing to tax that could stand a tax, for undeveloped mines

could not, and there were not fifty developed ones in the land, there was

but little realty to tax, and it did seem as if nobody was ever going to

think of the simple salvation of inflicting a money penalty on murder).

I believed that a State government would destroy the “flush times,” and I

wanted to get away. I believed that the mining stocks I had on hand

would soon be worth $100,000, and thought if they reached that before the

Constitution was adopted, I would sell out and make myself secure from

the crash the change of government was going to bring. I considered

$100,000 sufficient to go home with decently, though it was but a small

amount compared to what I had been expecting to return with. I felt

rather down-hearted about it, but I tried to comfort myself with the

reflection that with such a sum I could not fall into want. About this

time a schoolmate of mine whom I had not seen since boyhood, came

tramping in on foot from Reese River, a very allegory of Poverty.

The son of wealthy parents, here he was, in a strange land, hungry,

bootless, mantled in an ancient horse-blanket, roofed with a brimless

hat, and so generally and so extravagantly dilapidated that he could have

“taken the shine out of the Prodigal Son himself,” as he pleasantly

remarked.

He wanted to borrow forty-six dollars–twenty-six to take him to San

Francisco, and twenty for something else; to buy some soap with, maybe,

for he needed it. I found I had but little more than the amount wanted,

in my pocket; so I stepped in and borrowed forty-six dollars of a banker

(on twenty days’ time, without the formality of a note), and gave it him,

rather than walk half a block to the office, where I had some specie laid

up. If anybody had told me that it would take me two years to pay back

that forty-six dollars to the banker (for I did not expect it of the

Prodigal, and was not disappointed), I would have felt injured. And so

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