soap, and from the eaves hung a hoary blue woolen shirt, significantly–
but this latter was the station-keeper’s private towel, and only two
persons in all the party might venture to use it–the stage-driver and
the conductor. The latter would not, from a sense of decency; the former
would not, because did not choose to encourage the advances of a station-
keeper. We had towels–in the valise; they might as well have been in
Sodom and Gomorrah. We (and the conductor) used our handkerchiefs, and
the driver his pantaloons and sleeves. By the door, inside, was fastened
a small old-fashioned looking-glass frame, with two little fragments of
the original mirror lodged down in one corner of it. This arrangement
afforded a pleasant double-barreled portrait of you when you looked into
it, with one half of your head set up a couple of inches above the other
half. From the glass frame hung the half of a comb by a string–but if I
had to describe that patriarch or die, I believe I would order some
sample coffins.
It had come down from Esau and Samson, and had been accumulating hair
ever since–along with certain impurities. In one corner of the room
stood three or four rifles and muskets, together with horns and pouches
of ammunition. The station-men wore pantaloons of coarse, country-woven
stuff, and into the seat and the inside of the legs were sewed ample
additions of buckskin, to do duty in place of leggings, when the man rode
horseback–so the pants were half dull blue and half yellow, and
unspeakably picturesque. The pants were stuffed into the tops of high
boots, the heels whereof were armed with great Spanish spurs, whose
little iron clogs and chains jingled with every step. The man wore a
huge beard and mustachios, an old slouch hat, a blue woolen shirt, no
suspenders, no vest, no coat–in a leathern sheath in his belt, a great
long “navy” revolver (slung on right side, hammer to the front), and
projecting from his boot a horn-handled bowie-knife. The furniture of
the hut was neither gorgeous nor much in the way. The rocking-chairs and
sofas were not present, and never had been, but they were represented by
two three-legged stools, a pine-board bench four feet long, and two empty
candle-boxes. The table was a greasy board on stilts, and the table-
cloth and napkins had not come–and they were not looking for them,
either. A battered tin platter, a knife and fork, and a tin pint cup,
were at each man’s place, and the driver had a queens-ware saucer that
had seen better days. Of course this duke sat at the head of the table.
There was one isolated piece of table furniture that bore about it a
touching air of grandeur in misfortune. This was the caster. It was
German silver, and crippled and rusty, but it was so preposterously out
of place there that it was suggestive of a tattered exiled king among
barbarians, and the majesty of its native position compelled respect even
in its degradation.
There was only one cruet left, and that was a stopperless, fly-specked,
broken-necked thing, with two inches of vinegar in it, and a dozen
preserved flies with their heels up and looking sorry they had invested
there.
The station-keeper upended a disk of last week’s bread, of the shape and
size of an old-time cheese, and carved some slabs from it which were as
good as Nicholson pavement, and tenderer.
He sliced off a piece of bacon for each man, but only the experienced old
hands made out to eat it, for it was condemned army bacon which the
United States would not feed to its soldiers in the forts, and the stage
company had bought it cheap for the sustenance of their passengers and
employees. We may have found this condemned army bacon further out on
the plains than the section I am locating it in, but we found it–there
is no gainsaying that.
Then he poured for us a beverage which he called “Slum gullion,” and it
is hard to think he was not inspired when he named it. It really
pretended to be tea, but there was too much dish-rag, and sand, and old