Roughing It by Mark Twain

do, because the provisions were exposed and would suffer, the horses

being “bituminous from long deprivation.” The reader will excuse me from

translating. What Mr. Ballou customarily meant, when he used a long

word, was a secret between himself and his Maker. He was one of the best

and kindest hearted men that ever graced a humble sphere of life. He was

gentleness and simplicity itself–and unselfishness, too. Although he

was more than twice as old as the eldest of us, he never gave himself any

airs, privileges, or exemptions on that account. He did a young man’s

share of the work; and did his share of conversing and entertaining from

the general stand-point of any age–not from the arrogant, overawing

summit-height of sixty years. His one striking peculiarity was his

Partingtonian fashion of loving and using big words for their own sakes,

and independent of any bearing they might have upon the thought he was

purposing to convey. He always let his ponderous syllables fall with an

easy unconsciousness that left them wholly without offensiveness.

In truth his air was so natural and so simple that one was always

catching himself accepting his stately sentences as meaning something,

when they really meant nothing in the world. If a word was long and

grand and resonant, that was sufficient to win the old man’s love, and he

would drop that word into the most out-of-the-way place in a sentence or

a subject, and be as pleased with it as if it were perfectly luminous

with meaning.

We four always spread our common stock of blankets together on the frozen

ground, and slept side by side; and finding that our foolish, long-legged

hound pup had a deal of animal heat in him, Oliphant got to admitting him

to the bed, between himself and Mr. Ballou, hugging the dog’s warm back

to his breast and finding great comfort in it. But in the night the pup

would get stretchy and brace his feet against the old man’s back and

shove, grunting complacently the while; and now and then, being warm and

snug, grateful and happy, he would paw the old man’s back simply in

excess of comfort; and at yet other times he would dream of the chase and

in his sleep tug at the old man’s back hair and bark in his ear. The old

gentleman complained mildly about these familiarities, at last, and when

he got through with his statement he said that such a dog as that was not

a proper animal to admit to bed with tired men, because he was “so

meretricious in his movements and so organic in his emotions.” We turned

the dog out.

It was a hard, wearing, toilsome journey, but it had its bright side; for

after each day was done and our wolfish hunger appeased with a hot supper

of fried bacon, bread, molasses and black coffee, the pipe-smoking, song-

singing and yarn-spinning around the evening camp-fire in the still

solitudes of the desert was a happy, care-free sort of recreation that

seemed the very summit and culmination of earthly luxury.

It is a kind of life that has a potent charm for all men, whether city or

country-bred. We are descended from desert-lounging Arabs, and countless

ages of growth toward perfect civilization have failed to root out of us

the nomadic instinct. We all confess to a gratified thrill at the

thought of “camping out.”

Once we made twenty-five miles in a day, and once we made forty miles

(through the Great American Desert), and ten miles beyond–fifty in all–

in twenty-three hours, without halting to eat, drink or rest. To stretch

out and go to sleep, even on stony and frozen ground, after pushing a

wagon and two horses fifty miles, is a delight so supreme that for the

moment it almost seems cheap at the price.

We camped two days in the neighborhood of the “Sink of the Humboldt.”

We tried to use the strong alkaline water of the Sink, but it would not

answer. It was like drinking lye, and not weak lye, either. It left a

taste in the mouth, bitter and every way execrable, and a burning in the

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