Roughing It by Mark Twain

of the vessel for the next twenty-four hours. Next day, toward noon, the

figures were all in the purser’s hands in sealed envelopes. Smith was

serene and happy, for he had been bribing the engineer. But another

party won the prize! Smith said:

Here, that won’t do! He guessed two miles wider of the mark than I did.”

The purser said, “Mr. Smith, you missed it further than any man on board.

We traveled two hundred and eight miles yesterday.”

“Well, sir,” said Smith, “that’s just where I’ve got you, for I guessed

two hundred and nine. If you’ll look at my figgers again you’ll find a 2

and two 0’s, which stands for 200, don’t it?–and after ’em you’ll find a

9 (2009), which stands for two hundred and nine. I reckon I’ll take that

money, if you please.”

The Gould & Curry claim comprised twelve hundred feet, and it all

belonged originally to the two men whose names it bears. Mr. Curry owned

two thirds of it–and he said that he sold it out for twenty-five hundred

dollars in cash, and an old plug horse that ate up his market value in

hay and barley in seventeen days by the watch. And he said that Gould

sold out for a pair of second-hand government blankets and a bottle of

whisky that killed nine men in three hours, and that an unoffending

stranger that smelt the cork was disabled for life. Four years afterward

the mine thus disposed of was worth in the San Francisco market seven

millions six hundred thousand dollars in gold coin.

In the early days a poverty-stricken Mexican who lived in a canyon

directly back of Virginia City, had a stream of water as large as a man’s

wrist trickling from the hill-side on his premises. The Ophir Company

segregated a hundred feet of their mine and traded it to him for the

stream of water. The hundred feet proved to be the richest part of the

entire mine; four years after the swap, its market value (including its

mill) was $1,500,000.

An individual who owned twenty feet in the Ophir mine before its great

riches were revealed to men, traded it for a horse, and a very sorry

looking brute he was, too. A year or so afterward, when Ophir stock went

up to $3,000 a foot, this man, who had not a cent, used to say he was the

most startling example of magnificence and misery the world had ever

seen–because he was able to ride a sixty-thousand-dollar horse–yet

could not scrape up cash enough to buy a saddle, and was obliged to

borrow one or ride bareback. He said if fortune were to give him another

sixty-thousand-dollar horse it would ruin him.

A youth of nineteen, who was a telegraph operator in Virginia on a salary

of a hundred dollars a month, and who, when he could not make out German

names in the list of San Francisco steamer arrivals, used to ingeniously

select and supply substitutes for them out of an old Berlin city

directory, made himself rich by watching the mining telegrams that passed

through his hands and buying and selling stocks accordingly, through a

friend in San Francisco. Once when a private dispatch was sent from

Virginia announcing a rich strike in a prominent mine and advising that

the matter be kept secret till a large amount of the stock could be

secured, he bought forty “feet” of the stock at twenty dollars a foot,

and afterward sold half of it at eight hundred dollars a foot and the

rest at double that figure. Within three months he was worth $150,000,

and had resigned his telegraphic position.

Another telegraph operator who had been discharged by the company for

divulging the secrets of the office, agreed with a moneyed man in San

Francisco to furnish him the result of a great Virginia mining lawsuit

within an hour after its private reception by the parties to it in San

Francisco. For this he was to have a large percentage of the profits on

purchases and sales made on it by his fellow-conspirator. So he went,

disguised as a teamster, to a little wayside telegraph office in the

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