Roughing It by Mark Twain

pretentious affair, and yet so “slow,” so sleepy; such an insipid mess of

inspiration. It is chloroform in print. If Joseph Smith composed this

book, the act was a miracle–keeping awake while he did it was, at any

rate. If he, according to tradition, merely translated it from certain

ancient and mysteriously-engraved plates of copper, which he declares he

found under a stone, in an out-of-the-way locality, the work of

translating was equally a miracle, for the same reason.

The book seems to be merely a prosy detail of imaginary history, with the

Old Testament for a model; followed by a tedious plagiarism of the New

Testament. The author labored to give his words and phrases the quaint,

old-fashioned sound and structure of our King James’s translation of the

Scriptures; and the result is a mongrel–half modern glibness, and half

ancient simplicity and gravity. The latter is awkward and constrained;

the former natural, but grotesque by the contrast. Whenever he found his

speech growing too modern–which was about every sentence or two–he

ladled in a few such Scriptural phrases as “exceeding sore,” “and it came

to pass,” etc., and made things satisfactory again. “And it came to

pass” was his pet. If he had left that out, his Bible would have been

only a pamphlet.

The title-page reads as follows:

THE BOOK OF MORMON: AN ACCOUNT WRITTEN BY THE HAND OF MORMON, UPON

PLATES TAKEN FROM THE PLATES OF NEPHI.

Wherefore it is an abridgment of the record of the people of Nephi,

and also of the Lamanites; written to the Lamanites, who are a

remnant of the House of Israel; and also to Jew and Gentile; written

by way of commandment, and also by the spirit of prophecy and of

revelation. Written and sealed up, and hid up unto the Lord, that

they might not be destroyed; to come forth by the gift and power of

God unto the interpretation thereof; sealed by the hand of Moroni,

and hid up unto the Lord, to come forth in due time by the way of

Gentile; the interpretation thereof by the gift of God. An

abridgment taken from the Book of Ether also; which is a record of

the people of Jared; who were scattered at the time the Lord

confounded the language of the people when they were building a

tower to get to Heaven.

“Hid up” is good. And so is “wherefore”–though why “wherefore”? Any

other word would have answered as well–though–in truth it would not

have sounded so Scriptural.

Next comes:

THE TESTIMONY OF THREE WITNESSES.

Be it known unto all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people unto

whom this work shall come, that we, through the grace of God the

Father, and our Lord Jesus Christ, have seen the plates which

contain this record, which is a record of the people of Nephi, and

also of the Lamanites, their brethren, and also of the people of

Jared, who came from the tower of which hath been spoken; and we

also know that they have been translated by the gift and power of

God, for His voice hath declared it unto us; wherefore we know of a

surety that the work is true. And we also testify that we have seen

the engravings which are upon the plates; and they have been shown

unto us by the power of God, and not of man. And we declare with

words of soberness, that an angel of God came down from heaven, and

he brought and laid before our eyes, that we beheld and saw the

plates, and the engravings thereon; and we know that it is by the

grace of God the Father, and our Lord Jesus Christ, that we beheld

and bear record that these things are true; and it is marvellous in

our eyes; nevertheless the voice of the Lord commanded us that we

should bear record of it; wherefore, to be obedient unto the

commandments of God, we bear testimony of these things. And we know

that if we are faithful in Christ, we shall rid our garments of the

blood of all men, and be found spotless before the judgment-seat of

Christ, and shall dwell with Him eternally in the heavens. And the

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236

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