Roughing It by Mark Twain

and picked up a great deal of useful information and entertaining

nonsense, and went to bed at night satisfied.

The second day, we made the acquaintance of Mr. Street (since deceased)

and put on white shirts and went and paid a state visit to the king.

He seemed a quiet, kindly, easy-mannered, dignified, self-possessed old

gentleman of fifty-five or sixty, and had a gentle craft in his eye that

probably belonged there. He was very simply dressed and was just taking

off a straw hat as we entered. He talked about Utah, and the Indians,

and Nevada, and general American matters and questions, with our

secretary and certain government officials who came with us. But he

never paid any attention to me, notwithstanding I made several attempts

to “draw him out” on federal politics and his high handed attitude toward

Congress. I thought some of the things I said were rather fine. But he

merely looked around at me, at distant intervals, something as I have

seen a benignant old cat look around to see which kitten was meddling

with her tail.

By and by I subsided into an indignant silence, and so sat until the end,

hot and flushed, and execrating him in my heart for an ignorant savage.

But he was calm. His conversation with those gentlemen flowed on as

sweetly and peacefully and musically as any summer brook. When the

audience was ended and we were retiring from the presence, he put his

hand on my head, beamed down on me in an admiring way and said to my

brother:

“Ah–your child, I presume? Boy, or girl?”

CHAPTER XIV.

Mr. Street was very busy with his telegraphic matters–and considering

that he had eight or nine hundred miles of rugged, snowy, uninhabited

mountains, and waterless, treeless, melancholy deserts to traverse with

his wire, it was natural and needful that he should be as busy as

possible. He could not go comfortably along and cut his poles by the

road-side, either, but they had to be hauled by ox teams across those

exhausting deserts–and it was two days’ journey from water to water, in

one or two of them. Mr. Street’s contract was a vast work, every way one

looked at it; and yet to comprehend what the vague words “eight hundred

miles of rugged mountains and dismal deserts” mean, one must go over the

ground in person–pen and ink descriptions cannot convey the dreary

reality to the reader. And after all, Mr. S.’s mightiest difficulty

turned out to be one which he had never taken into the account at all.

Unto Mormons he had sub-let the hardest and heaviest half of his great

undertaking, and all of a sudden they concluded that they were going to

make little or nothing, and so they tranquilly threw their poles

overboard in mountain or desert, just as it happened when they took the

notion, and drove home and went about their customary business! They

were under written contract to Mr. Street, but they did not care anything

for that. They said they would “admire” to see a “Gentile” force a

Mormon to fulfil a losing contract in Utah! And they made themselves

very merry over the matter. Street said–for it was he that told us

these things:

“I was in dismay. I was under heavy bonds to complete my contract in a

given time, and this disaster looked very much like ruin. It was an

astounding thing; it was such a wholly unlooked-for difficulty, that I

was entirely nonplussed. I am a business man–have always been a

business man–do not know anything but business–and so you can imagine

how like being struck by lightning it was to find myself in a country

where written contracts were worthless!–that main security, that sheet-

anchor, that absolute necessity, of business. My confidence left me.

There was no use in making new contracts–that was plain. I talked with

first one prominent citizen and then another. They all sympathized with

me, first rate, but they did not know how to help me. But at last a

Gentile said, ‘Go to Brigham Young!–these small fry cannot do you any

good.’ I did not think much of the idea, for if the law could not help

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